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#520474 - 06/08/11 09:41 PM My 5,000th post
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
It's coming up. Please leave your most creative suggestions as to whom it should be sent to and what it should say. As Leslie Nielsen's gravestone says, "Let 'er rip."


Attachments
nielsen.jpg (286 downloads)


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#520475 - 06/08/11 09:51 PM Re: My 5,000th post [Re: Brandon_Iron]
MoronBoy Offline
Chronic Masturbator

Registered: 07/30/06
Posts: 1712
Loc: at the end of the longest line
It would be nice post 5K read something along the lines of this:

Thank you, Mr. Boy, I appreciate the positive and/or honest review you posted of I Love It Rough #4 on this very message board. I sincerely apologize for my tardiness in getting this DVD out to a hardworking and keen-eyed individual such as yourself, kind sir.
_________________________
Twitter.com/degraderzim

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#520476 - 06/08/11 09:52 PM Re: My 5,000th post [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
You are a welching scumbag. How bout for your 5k post you choke on a cock and die, fuck face.

Take care of Moron Boy.


^^Hey, there he was, my fake client.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#520482 - 06/08/11 10:17 PM Re: My 5,000th post [Re: Brandon_Iron]
superloads Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 04/11/08
Posts: 1265
Send it to Ryan Knox in lieu of payment. Like you have before.
_________________________
Rear Admiral:

"If one of these whores gets herpes from me, then so be it."

"Next for me: trannies."

--------------------------------------------

"This fucking jackass needs to show a recent Herpes test or go back to Canada." - BigDickDaddy

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#520483 - 06/08/11 10:19 PM Re: My 5,000th post [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
The level of humour so far has Leslie rolling over in his grave.

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#520484 - 06/08/11 10:22 PM Re: My 5,000th post [Re: Brandon_Iron]
superloads Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 04/11/08
Posts: 1265
Say out loud "I'm Brandon Iron. A famous Porn Star".

That'll have him rolling.
_________________________
Rear Admiral:

"If one of these whores gets herpes from me, then so be it."

"Next for me: trannies."

--------------------------------------------

"This fucking jackass needs to show a recent Herpes test or go back to Canada." - BigDickDaddy

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#520485 - 06/08/11 10:28 PM Re: My 5,000th post [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Oh, yeah, BI stiffed the limp dick guy too?? Damn. Fellow mope can't get no work because of chronic floppy cock, and Brandon takes advantage of him too. So few humans on lower rungs of the ladder than BI, but he finds them and rips em off.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#520486 - 06/08/11 10:33 PM BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising


"The roofies worked before he beat my ass. Now what do I do first, blow him or lift his wallet."


Edited by Jerkules (06/08/11 10:35 PM)
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#520487 - 06/08/11 10:45 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Paging have2cit. Come in have2cit. Show the kiddies how it's done...please. It's the Gong Show right now. Help.

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#520488 - 06/08/11 11:24 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
Brandon Irons: The Michael Jordan of the dribble post mature cumshot

OR

Brandon Irons: Testament to what a man can achieve with half a torso.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

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#520490 - 06/08/11 11:27 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
THANK YOU!

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#520494 - 06/08/11 11:39 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
THANK YOU!


You are very welcome, do you still remain in contact with melissa lauren? She was a good ol girl by porn performer standards, not exactly a one that got away, but post relationship friend material.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

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#520496 - 06/08/11 11:55 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Pas de tout.

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#520505 - 06/09/11 03:34 AM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo






always a hot scene with that whore.
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

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#520521 - 06/09/11 06:39 AM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Uomo Grassissimo!! Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
BI's stiffed a bunch of whores. I think I have a partial site rip of it somewhere.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! wink

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#520540 - 06/09/11 02:43 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Uomo Grassissimo!!]
superloads Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 04/11/08
Posts: 1265
Originally Posted By: Uomo Grassissimo!!
BI's herped a bunch of whores. I think I have a partial site rip of it somewhere.


fixed
_________________________
Rear Admiral:

"If one of these whores gets herpes from me, then so be it."

"Next for me: trannies."

--------------------------------------------

"This fucking jackass needs to show a recent Herpes test or go back to Canada." - BigDickDaddy

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#520544 - 06/09/11 03:30 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
Paging have2cit. Come in have2cit. Show the kiddies how it's done...please. It's the Gong Show right now. Help.


How dare you use my name in vain, I would rip your head off and shit down your neck, but I really don't like using public toilets.

Good enough?

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#520546 - 06/09/11 03:33 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Uomo Grassissimo!! Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
Certainly it would be herpes risk to use that particular john.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! wink

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#520550 - 06/09/11 03:49 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Nice, Have2cit, with a cherry topper from Uomo. We are back on track and amateur hour is over, thankfully.

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#520551 - 06/09/11 03:50 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Uomo Grassissimo!!]
Kingfish Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 1133
Loc: The Mystic Knights of the Sea ...
I guess an upside to Brendan being marooned in Canada is the infinite supply of subsidized/free Valtrex from that socialist medical system.
_________________________
"I'm a minor character in my own story", Steve Coogan as Tony Wilson in 24 Hour Party People

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#520553 - 06/09/11 04:07 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Send the guy his DVD, imp.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

Top
#520554 - 06/09/11 04:19 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Jerkules]
Kingfish Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 1133
Loc: The Mystic Knights of the Sea ...
Jerkules, I appreciate your efforts in trying to shame the chiseling Canuck into honoring his word, but if you are {very unlikely} successful Moron Boy will have a Brandon Iron DVD. Wouldn't that be considered a Pyrrhic victory?
_________________________
"I'm a minor character in my own story", Steve Coogan as Tony Wilson in 24 Hour Party People

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#520556 - 06/09/11 04:33 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Very valid point, sir. I just haven't found another outlet for the boredom. Guess there is nothing left to do besides sign him up for NAMBLA and the Klan, and hope being on those FBI lists keeps him from re entering our great country.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

Top
#520557 - 06/09/11 04:34 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
I can have as many heart attacks as I want and it won't cost me a dime. Jealous?

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#520562 - 06/09/11 05:10 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
superloads Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 04/11/08
Posts: 1265
BI in Canada to avoid paying bills? Who would have thought that?
_________________________
Rear Admiral:

"If one of these whores gets herpes from me, then so be it."

"Next for me: trannies."

--------------------------------------------

"This fucking jackass needs to show a recent Herpes test or go back to Canada." - BigDickDaddy

Top
#520563 - 06/09/11 05:12 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Jerkules]
Kingfish Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 1133
Loc: The Mystic Knights of the Sea ...
Originally Posted By: Jerkules
Very valid point, sir. I just haven't found another outlet for the boredom.

You can be like the reporters hounding Anthony Weiner about his dong shots while all he wants to talk about is the debt ceiling. Every time Brendan posts one of his "witty" comments, you can nag him about Moron's DVD.
_________________________
"I'm a minor character in my own story", Steve Coogan as Tony Wilson in 24 Hour Party People

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#520565 - 06/09/11 05:17 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
That's what this board needs: more whiny 3rd party naggers. That's naggers, not...oh, forget it.

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#520578 - 06/09/11 08:14 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Uomo Grassissimo!! Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
But, in the town it was well known that when they got home at night their fat and psychopathic wives would thrash them within inches of their lives.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! wink

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#520585 - 06/09/11 09:10 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
You know, Brandon really is good at this messageboard thing. Way back when, the other posters must have sucked so bad he was forced to make up alt-ids in order to have a dialogue.

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#520594 - 06/10/11 02:27 AM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Bornyo]
superloads Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 04/11/08
Posts: 1265
Send the fukken fanboy his DVD Brandon. While one equates one of your scenes of a whore with a load in her mouth as disease in the Congo, he thinks you're the Bat Boy who made it to the Big Leagues in the House That Ashley Blue Built. Send him one of the pirated ones that are ripped and burned on DVD 5. That was your main distribution anyway, and you can't blame Jose for not selling Mexicali. Even he couldn't explain that it was Horchata in her mouth, not what they had to get shots for.
_________________________
Rear Admiral:

"If one of these whores gets herpes from me, then so be it."

"Next for me: trannies."

--------------------------------------------

"This fucking jackass needs to show a recent Herpes test or go back to Canada." - BigDickDaddy

Top
#520625 - 06/10/11 12:05 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
lol
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

Top
#520637 - 06/10/11 01:33 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Bornyo]
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
Originally Posted By: Bornyo
You know, Brandon really is good at this messageboard thing. Way back when, the other posters must have sucked so bad he was forced to make up alt-ids in order to have a dialogue.


werd....

and isn't this all just a build up to him posting cawk pics?. really.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#520647 - 06/10/11 02:58 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
I've progressed to manboob pics....you're welcome.

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#520671 - 06/10/11 11:23 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
i guess you are advancing sexually.
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

Top
#520673 - 06/11/11 01:42 AM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Read 'em and weep.


Attachments
jack.jpg (110 downloads)


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#520731 - 06/11/11 05:59 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
Pas de tout.



Thats a shame frown. A little off topic butttttttt how did you get into porn? You don't strike me as the, fell into it by accident while trying your hand at mainstream acting type
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

Top
#520740 - 06/11/11 06:47 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
I was the only singing waiter at the Rock-n-Roll Denny's on Sunset Blvd from 1988-1991. Axl Rose and Slash heard me sing Great Balls of Fire while having two lit souvlaki meatballs flambeed near my crotch. They gave me a formal audition 3 days later but I flubbed the words to Patience by singing "Patients". I argued that the two words were homonyms but Axl could tell the difference. Keen ear on that guy. Very keen. Anyways, I didn't make it into Guns N Roses and my career spiralled down to doing porn.

My first shoot. Please do not post in side boob thread. Thank you.


Attachments
earlyiron1.jpg (75 downloads)


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#520744 - 06/11/11 06:52 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
i told you fuckers cawk pics were inbound.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#520745 - 06/11/11 06:53 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Uomo Grassissimo!! Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
So Jack isn't the only one sporting man boob.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! wink

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#520746 - 06/11/11 06:53 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: LouCypher]
Uomo Grassissimo!! Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
Originally Posted By: LouCypher
i told you fuckers cawk pics were inbound.


You did. You definitely did.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! wink

Top
#520751 - 06/11/11 07:13 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Please do not make fun of me. I have gone back to being a singing waiter and currently work for tips at Berlin's Block House restaurant on Unter Den Linden. Every night from 8pm to close, they have me greet guests shirtless with a black bow tie Chippendale's-style and say, "Gutten tag. Would you like some prime beef?" I don't speak German so you can understand how much it means to me to have friends here.


Attachments
berlin.jpg (150 downloads)


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#520761 - 06/11/11 08:55 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Smelly Monkey]
Kingfish Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 1133
Loc: The Mystic Knights of the Sea ...
Originally Posted By: Smelly Monkey
A little off topic butttttttt how did you get into porn? You don't strike me as the, fell into it by accident while trying your hand at mainstream acting type
That is an interesting question. You don't appear to be the typical meat puppet (sleeved arms, piercings, etc) and that seems to be a straight ahead question from Monkey -- which is unusual -- but then again a good attorney always knows the answer to the question they are asking in court so maybe the truth is entertaining. But you simply answer it with snark.

Fill us in BI. Were you a young shaver in frozen Moose Jaw that stumbled across your dad or big brother's copy of Hustler or a Swedish Erotica 8mm 50' reel of John Holmes fucking neck scarf wearing Seka in a wood paneled room and decided that is what you wanted to do?
_________________________
"I'm a minor character in my own story", Steve Coogan as Tony Wilson in 24 Hour Party People

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#520763 - 06/11/11 09:11 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Uomo Grassissimo!! Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
IIRC it was wandering into his step-sister Mirage's bedroom.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! wink

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#520768 - 06/11/11 09:51 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Should have been me....


Attachments
gnr.jpg (126 downloads)


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#520769 - 06/11/11 10:21 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
wannacorndog Offline
Human Garbage

Registered: 03/14/08
Posts: 1613
Loc: Liqour Hole, Kentucky
Brandon do you like to go to amusement parks? Or does it bother you too much that you aren't tall enough for any of the good rides? Riding the teacups gets old fast doesn't it?
_________________________
Being Canadian is not a disease. It just feels like one. TUP

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#520781 - 06/12/11 06:02 AM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
the unknown pervert Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
Should have been me....


You never had enough hair to have a chance at G'n'R. You should have set your sights on something like Depeche Mode or Kraftwork.
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules

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#520783 - 06/12/11 06:28 AM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Is this the face of a guy who should be in Depeche Mode or whatever a "Kraftwork" is?


Attachments
Brandon AC DC.JPG (128 downloads)


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#520784 - 06/12/11 06:38 AM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
wannacorndog Offline
Human Garbage

Registered: 03/14/08
Posts: 1613
Loc: Liqour Hole, Kentucky
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
Is this the face of a guy who should be in Depeche Mode or whatever a "Kraftwork" is?


I would say it looks more like the face of a chronic masturbator
_________________________
Being Canadian is not a disease. It just feels like one. TUP

Top
#520790 - 06/12/11 07:44 AM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
DING! DING! DING!

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#520855 - 06/12/11 06:32 PM Re: BRANDON IRONS CAPTION CONTEST [Re: Brandon_Iron]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
Is this the face of a guy who should be in Depeche Mode or whatever a "Kraftwork" is?


_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

Top
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