It’s 3:13pm. Oprah Winfrey’s last show is on tv. Most people my age are at work or taking care of their children. Not me. I’m free as a bird, listening to Oprah tell me to pursue my passion and “use my platform.” So that is what I will do. Folks, just as Oprah has been a television host for 25 years, I have been a pervert for that same amount of time. Longer, actually. The hours were gruelling. The commitment was great. Somehow, I made it. From Stacy Donovan to Stacy Valentine to the next Stacy _______ who will get off a bus with soon-to-be-failed hopes and dreams, my penis has responded with the same “Boinnngg!”

Look….I don’t have 4,561 shows like Oprah to give the same lessons. Let’s just summarize, shall we?
- Own the life you were created for;
- We all seek validation. Validate others;
- We are responsible for the energy we bring to the world;
- Gratitude is a powerful force;
- The hand of God is at work in all we do;
- Release the shame in your life and fulfill your potential.

So I saved you one hour of your life by watching the Farewell Show. Please use it to watch some good porn. It may be an blowjob scene or a bukkake scene or an anal scene featuring dirty ass-to-mouth. It doesn’t matter. Just validate our porn stars for being the beautiful sex objects they are. If you feel the hand of God when you are pleasuring yourself, you are doing something wrong. Use your own! If you do it right, you will release the shame, trust me. That is what Kleenex is for.

But you've had 4,561 herpes outbreaks.

Oprah always had new material. Why can't you?

brandon you're missing the celeb support 0prah called in at the end... let me pm figgs and see what he's up to tomorrow.

Brandon's brother had tickets but got mugged by a black guy and a hispanic. Well, not really. At least not yet ...





A SOURCE

Canadian Man Fakes Mugging After Lying To Wife about Oprah Finale Tickets

CHICAGO - A Canadian man who lied to his wife about having tickets to the highly-anticipated finale of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" is facing jail time after allegedly faking his own mugging to cover up the false promise, the New York Post reported Tuesday.

Oprah gives people surprises under their seat. So does Brandon.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

Point to LouCypher. Well done!

so thats shame on my carpet?

It certainly isn't mine. Wait....what's your address?

I never really watched any day time television. Always believing it was designed for human trash with absolutely no lives. The same sort of people who could be entertained for hours by a bug zapper.

I'm going to recommend TruTV to you Brandon. I don't know if you receive it up there, but Charles Barkley (not the one who was Cassandra's alt ID here) gave it a ringing endorsement. He said it was like BET for white people and that he watched it all the time. Sounds like it would be right up your alley.

"
Look….I don’t have 4,561 shows like Oprah to give the same lessons"


...I thought it said 'lesions' for a sec...

Nice, Tattypatty.

Have2cit: I don't pay for tv. I use an antenna. That's how I roll.

Who is going to tell women how unhappy they are with their husbands and boyfriends now?

There's still her albino clone Dr. Know-it-all Phil !

werd^ his jackass old lady is probably lined up for a show.

Oprah said she will personally respond to her e-mails. How many people believe that? I'm going to test it: oprah@oprah.com

I'd figure Vangine-feld would take the spot.