... will not come within my Lifetime.

Thus the Lord has spoken to me via Twitter.

I have come to this calculation with formulas and numbers revealed to me His army of messenters, the holy naked, small-breasted, light-skinned, button-nosed, never-brown-eyed cherubim.

He has made the mystery of His Will by exposing by the sacred architecture of Heaven that only becomes clear to this mortal when he close his eyes and forces himself to visage passing his moistened penis from sister angel's vagina to sister angel's mouth again and again and again.

I have cross-checked the numbers with my old trusty sliderule, reverse polish-notation HP calculator and my Timex Sinclair [with additional 16K of RAM]. Always the answer is the same.



So, fellow mortals, it is not possible for the end to days to come while I live, breathe, pirate porn, overpost about nothing, and stalk freakish blonde twins.


And, it is ONLY these very sacred, holy actions which have been ordered upon me to perform by the narcissistic, egotistical, King of the Universe with an inferiority complex to match.

[He is good. He is great. He is sweet smelling. His abs are of steel. His penis is not really small, at least when you average it with all the other god's and take his height into consideration. And, some other evil no-good-nik must have made Dana Dearmond, Tia Ling, Filipinos and the "Facts of Life" girls. For he loves us to much to heap that garbage upon us.]




But, my people, once this half-crazed, obese prophet and member of the priestly tribe of Levi is called to deliver his appointed task, the complete collection of Casey Parker porn, to his maker, BEWARE!!


For the time of reckoning will be fast upon you. And, there will be no more time to prepare.

BEWARE! PREPARE! FORSWEAR! REPAIR!

BEWARE THE END OF DAYS!!!!











[at least it will be the end of days for me, so fuck y'all. The Universe dies with ME!]

ive got my baby oil ready.

From "The Gospel of Morbid Obesity as misremembered by God's Gift" Chapter 16:

"And I tell you that YOU are "FRANK", and upon your sincere, straightforward, direct and unreserved speech I will build my porn site, and the minions of Lubben, DMCA takedowns and ADT will not overcome it."





[See also The Gospel as misremembered by Whore Patron, Chapter 1:

"And he brought him to Fatso. And, Fatso put down his pizza, paused his downloads, looked at him and belched, "You are Figgs son of Urinal. You will be called CANDID." [which, when translated, is FRANK.]

I hope the world ends during my life time. I wanna see shit go down.

I can't predict when anyone else's world will end but I hope my world will end sooner than later.

For who knows what is good for a person in Life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow?

28:06:42:12

I knew a cute Catholic girl who went to Pratt whose favorite movie "Donnie Darko" and, being petite and Irish, looked a quite a bit like Jena Malone, but more 32B.

She was engaged to a guy from her hometown, a bit uptight, very athletic and, for some reason, very curious about my interest in porn. I found this out after a couple of drinks when I took her to see Maggie Gyllenhaal in a play about a British girl in Afghanistan at BAM. [Maggie was MUCH taller than I imagined].

She told me that part of Debbie Does Dallas was filmed at Pratt. I made her a DVD copy of my VHS for her viewing. She wanted to know if all porn was like that. Sadly, for me I got ill soon after as this conversation.

But I digress ...

The Lord checked in at Applebees on 4square.

Applebees? He has the entire Universe to choose from and he chooses Applebees?

He thought TGIF would be too obvious.

I got kicked out of an Appleby's once for drinking too much beer. They had just opened for the day. A friend and I went in. He was driving and I was working 3rd shift so it was basically midnight for me instead of 11am. We sat down in a booth and I ordered four 22 ounce glasses of beer. The waitress thought it was 2 for each of us so she took the drink order and gave us menus. She came back with the beers and put them on the table, asked if there was anything else. I told her to wait and I chugged all 4 beers back to back then asked her to bring me 2 more. She came back with two more 22oz beers and the manager. The manager told me to drink the beers and leave. I didn't say a word and I wasn't obnoxious at all. I even paid for the beers but I refused to leave a tip.

I've only gone to chain sit-down restaurants when I had no voice in the decision. And, that isn't very often.

It's a different world out here fatty- we have a voice but no choice sometimes.

Maybe it explains why so many people desperately want an end to the world.

Anyway, all this thinking we're the last generation. The generation of the judgment. And, that we mortals can read the intentions of the Divine through signs, interpretations of text and revealed sets of calculations.

It's ALL just a tad self-centered and egotistical, no?

And, is complete disrespect to the God they claim to ennoble.




If there is a vengeful, judging God looking to end Earth, I tend to agree with the Koran on this one:


Truly the hour of any judgment is known to no men, no ministers, no priests and no prophets.

It is known to God and God ALONE.