Hmmm Mid west....Do Indians run the riverboat casinos.

I'm thinking Detroit is a target city. They got despair, suburbs, and casinos.

Then we hop down to Cleveland, and follow the rivers down to Nawlins. From there, across, through Mobile and enter the land of swampy ignorance through the pan handle. That place is filled with northeast ex-pats, itching to purchase absolution for their sins before their time comes.

While in Florida, we purchase warehouses and trailer parks for our congregation. We need to avoid doing that near the Scientologist towns. We won't be partaking in any Crusades, we are working towards profit, and unless we own a hospital, fights won't be profitable. Much like St. Patty drove the snakes from Ireland, St. Fatty will attempt to drive the Donkey out of our continent's flaccid tribute to Ryan Knox during our time there. Community service like that will endear us to the non believers.

Once our Floridian Colony is up and running, we charter some planes bound for Vegas. I'd say 10-15 High Priests and 40 serfs. We can skip the Texican states of the southwest, too crazy, too lazy, and too much desert. California is next, quick run up the state, then we fly to the Northeast for a media blitz. I know you've had dreams of being on the cover of Time, Fatty this will be your chance.

Along the way we set up indoctrination centers. We'll take a shot at the government and rent stores near military recruiters to garner more converts. I mean, yeah, there is like 1% of kids going there with a sense of serving their country. And yes, we have no chance with the ones that are gun nuts or have straight up blood lust. But, we should be able to sop up lots of the 80+% that are just seeking purpose or change or running from something.

Now you might be thinking that I left out the Great Plains states, and you would be wrong. Shit is way to spread out there. We need high volume to produce enough converts to sustain this endeavor. The Great Plains states are the ones that we cold call in order to get seed money. Back to my buying shares in Jesus scam. $475k should be enough to get the ball rolling. First 10k will be tough, but then we use that to set up a call center in India, and it should be easy from there. Little old ladies getting pimped Jesus by a hindu accent won't know what the fuck is going on, and reading off credit card numbers quicker than they can find their teeth when company drops by.