I once riled all the old Jew delegates at the NYC-Central Labor Council, AFL-CIO, to turn on Harry Van Ardsdale's worthless son Tommy.

The only part of my best friend's wedding anyone can remember is my speech. I actually mailed 16 copies to people. The marriage is long over, but the talk of the speech continues.

Unlike my posting, my speeches are usually short, pointed, well rehearsed, rhythmic yarns sprinkled with poetic humor-coated barbs, building to a well-turned climax.

I incorporate an odd mix of influences = Malik El-Shabazz, Churchill, MLK, Lincoln and Hitler = into my style.