Paperhearst: I contacted Sasha today and asked her to reach out to some of her more prominent intelligentsia studying psychology. They all concluded that you are suffering from powerful latent homosexual urges as well as an unnerving fixation on other people's pursuit of their own happiness. They likened you to the older Jeffrey Lebowski who hates scofflaws and bums like the Dude. It kills you to see someone getting a free ride in life. I regret all the anger and discomfort my fun has caused you and would like to offer you a rug from one of my properties. I promise not to urinate on it...unless you would prefer it delivered to you this way.