Oh Monkey, Monkey, Monkey... what lies you won't come up with to get my attention again.

A friend told me you were spreading rumors I was drinking again (naughty boy!) and I wasn't even going to respond but you know how people tend to automatically believe what they read on the internet, especially when it's posted from the XPT guru himself.

No I am not drinking again, no I am not in rehab, but thanks for thinking of me enough to come up with these little untruths.

Since you are so interested in my life, I'll give you a quick update: I'm headed out to the poppy fields tomorrow to shoot Ashleyy Grace. Then on Friday I'm shooting newcomer Isabella Fierra, and on Sunday I'm shooting Emily Bikini. The following week I'm doing a private shoot for a married couple, and then I shoot another new girl named Kristi. The week after that I have a two day shoot for Quiver books (they are softcore sex-guide books that I shoot for on a regular basis), then I'm shooting Asphyxia Noir for Suze.net, and then Sarah Peachez for Twistys. The week after that I fly out to Texas to shoot for Fleshlight, and then in May I'm flying out to Prague to shoot for a couple of weeks. Believe me, if I was still drinking, there is no way I could be working this much.

It's great to see you back in action, though your talents are probably better spent on others who lead more interesting lives than I. I'm just not enough of a trainwreck these days-- that feels like another lifetime ago!