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Did not the Mexican poetess Sor Juana ines de la Cruz (Juana Ramirez) once write two poetic lines in essence saying that men complain when women refuse them, yet call them sluts/whores when they get the pussy?

Thought that was somehow relevant to this post about the sex lives of Suze and Holly.

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I was watching the people vs larry flynt the other day, and browsed the special features, where none other then the grey goose Suze Randall popped up and claimed/stated that she had fucked Larry Flynt, going as far as to call him a "great fuck". I am guessing this is pre wheelchair Larry, but still, he is a hick lizard king looking thing of a man, with the charm of a field mouse in heat. SOOOOOOOO What do you think brings the longest awkward silence at the Randall dinner table on sunday evenings

1) Suze Randall's sexual past with one Larry Flynt

OR

2) Holly's off set blowjob of Kurtis Lockwood (I could put the same about da burg if I believed anything he told me in his pms)

Talk amongst yourselves, monkey.

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I was watching the people vs larry flynt the other day, and browsed the special features, where none other then the grey goose Suze Randall popped up and claimed/stated that she had fucked Larry Flynt, going as far as to call him a "great fuck". I am guessing this is pre wheelchair Larry, but still, he is a hick lizard king looking thing of a man, with the charm of a field mouse in heat. SOOOOOOOO What do you think brings the longest awkward silence at the Randall dinner table on sunday evenings

1) Suze Randall's sexual past with one Larry Flynt

OR

2) Holly's off set blowjob of Kurtis Lockwood (I could put the same about da burg if I believed anything he told me in his pms)

Talk amongst yourselves, monkey.

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this movie just happened to be on last night so i watched it because well, theres no such thing as coincidence.

and now for a few points that may or may not be on topic.

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Suze Randall popped up and claimed/stated that she had fucked Larry Flynt, going as far as to call him a "great fuck". I am guessing this is pre wheelchair Larry

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Holly's off set blowjob of Kurtis Lockwood (I could put the same about da burg if I believed anything he told me in his pms)

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As for the Kurt thing

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Everything you said about Larry is true, but you have to remember that Suze isn't exactly a prize catch either. Perhaps it is his tryst with Suze that creates awkward moments at the Flynt Sunday dinner table.

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Flynt would put her one degree away from having fucked a chicken so...

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- rob longshot could have played crispin glovers role in that movie... creep factor and bi tendencies OFF THE CHART.

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- not to be outdone by mumsie didnt holly once talk about banging some latino taco boy from off the streets here?.

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- monks you think burg blew lockwood too?. i already explained my thoughts on coincidence. thats just fucked up dude.

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It's lovely to see how much you all missed me.

Yes my mother slept with Larry (pre-wheelchair). She slept with a lot of people-- my parents were swingers, before they had kids. Personally, I don't care what my parents did in their youth. I don't think many people live their lives thinking of what their children might think later on down the line. Or maybe some do. I don't think it's any secret that I don't have conventional parents. What I do have are loving parents who gave my siblings and I a wonderful childhood and continue to support us and be there for us. I think that's more than a lot of people can say about their parents, which is terribly sad.

As for the Kurt thing, I'm not even going to comment on that anymore because I've already talked about it many times. It's just silly and I'm sorry that my life is simply too boring to give you anything new to talk about.

Though I was not coked up in that photo, I was very drunk. I think that was my last public drunken outing before I got sober. Coincidentally, today is my 4 year sobriety anniversary date.

Life is wonderful, thanks for asking!

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^^^^^^^^

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^^^^^^^^

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EY, the entire thread is a snoozefest of irrelevance. Be charitable, willya.



EDIT: I take that back. This part is always relevant:






The rest? It's like Brandon justifying his minoxidil scrip.

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Whoa, thats a name from larry's past. Suzie, Suzie, Suzie. She was my first true love, I met her when she was a fresh faced 16 year old, fresh off the boat, beautiful girl, the best piece of ass I've ever had, and ive had them all, all around the world. I did everything for Suzie, I paid for her singing lessons, acting lessons, dancing lessons, then she met Stevie Valley and ran off with that bum, so there is no way Stevie is getting the lead in that movie, it will make him a big star, he made larry look stupid, now you can go back and tell Holly that.

It was a few years later when Stevie had quite the drug addiction and Larry was opening for frank at the desert inn, when I walked into frank's dressing room before the show only to see my sweet, sweet suzie there spread eagled with joey bishop, peter lawford and sammy davis jr, that was the day larry's innocence died.

whoa.

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The whole point of the ancillary Monkey Alt "One Liner Larry" is to put things in, well, One Fucking Line.

Drop this blather in an out-of-the blue Holly thread and I'm ready to start calling the latest Fake monkey "Da Verblar."


Yes? No? Bollocks?

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The whole point of the ancillary Monkey Alt "One Liner Larry" is to put things in, well, One Fucking Line.

Drop this blather in an out-of-the blue Holly thread and I'm ready to start calling the latest Fake monkey "Da Verblar."


Yes? No? Bollocks?

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You forgot to include Mike's other alias "cool or not guy"

Basically, monkey is an identity dreamed up by Mike Sullivan aka Frank Wank. Then allowed to drift aimlessly so that fuckbags like Jeff Mullen could take credit for having more than 3 functioning brain cells.

Monkey has no cred now...the "Monkey Cage" was renamed years ago because his schtick was older than Brandon Irons' herpes strain.

Bye bye, monkeyfag. You were great at flaming up Fayner on the old LF, but you jumped the shark like Ted McGinley has his dick all the way into your rectum.

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Hmm 12 posts in 5 years, the first post since year 1, and an intimate knowledge of the history of monkey. I have a strange feeling we have met before

The plot thickens.

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hmmmm, perhaps, but in the henry winkler time line I believe I've come off the adam sandler run and am heading into the b grade horror movie phase, Im still the fonz though.



heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

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The b grade horror movie phase will morph you into Fox Mulder but you'll get more red headed pussy.

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A jew pipsqueak that made a career out of pretending he was cool and tough?

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Yeah man, people really thought the Fonz was cool and tough. It was all part of the Big Lie by the MSM. Don't let The Man prevent you from speaking the truth about Happy Days.




Anyways, my man Winkler redeemed himself with his role on Arrested Development. All is forgiven.

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Pinky Tuscadero? I always thought Leather was hotter.

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^^^ Emma Peel was the earliest I remember that look.

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^^^ Emma Peel was the earliest I remember that look.

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hmm, according to burg's blog, Holly is back on the sauce

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in that case ive got some sauce for her.

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Ok, Luke (Ford) clarified that Holly has the occasional drink at social functions, but isn't "drinking" drinking. Ever since he has become a full blown hardcore jew, he has been very judgemental and doesn't bend on what he deems "improper" behavior, however he was very vocal in his message to me about defending Holly from the comments burg made about her relapse.

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It's a moot point, and unprovable pro or con. As Lou pointed out, we can always search the early stuff for a laugh.

Something to ponder: in 2004 my Dad was vibrant, working, and full of life. He wrote short stories for publication on the side and was working on a novel. He loved travel, food, fine wine and obscure cigars. He was the coolest Granddad our kids could ever want. He was beloved by everyone he interacted with. In 2011 he is dead and has been for a couple years now. Point being, people change. Not always for the better.

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Yes, dead is a change for the worse, most times.

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It's a moot point, and unprovable pro or con. As Lou pointed out, we can always search the early stuff for a laugh.

Something to ponder: in 2004 my Dad was vibrant, working, and full of life. He wrote short stories for publication on the side and was working on a novel. He loved travel, food, fine wine and obscure cigars. He was the coolest Granddad our kids could ever want. He was beloved by everyone he interacted with. In 2011 he is dead and has been for a couple years now. Point being, people change. Not always for the better.

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werd... my grandfather was 85+ when he came to visit. he retired to north carolina after living his entire life in the northeast. he was hundred percent irish alcoholic and pure genius. that is he was piss poor and lived twelve pack to twelve pack. anyways.. my last memory of him was after sunday dinner he and my old man were talking and apparently my dad was whining in some way shape or form. i dont know the details.i only know the words i heard...
what did you expect? to wake up to a blow job and the rest of the day would be uphill from there? curse of the irish and monks reminds me of that sometimes....

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I had my first taste of Jameson at my Irish Grandfather's wake. I was seven. Rumor has it that that he actually spent his last years waking up that very way with one of his granddaughters, my cousin. But that was the seventies and it's really neither here nor there, because Faux Monkey ain't getting it from anyone.

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Fuck you. What am I ? The king of awkward ????

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No it's the same Monkey, he just doesn't give a shit much anymore.

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I haven't a whit of the talent or wit of an Arab or a Jamesn,

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If this were the "real" monkey, I would have been eviscerated despite his apathy and ennui without so much as a bat of his simian eyebrow.

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Perhaps if I was the 14 year old who signed up here many moons ago, i'd feel the need to do so, however current day monks knows too much of your back story, and asks himself, will my comments (insults/comebacks) really out do the reality of what I imagine your life to be? I mean given what is known here (the infamous google eye, cheap tie picture), the worst law school in the country, and the free admittance of having the "utmost respect" for perverts on a porn board without a hint of sarcasm.

even so, I have still bent to your desire to get me to respond (something im sure you will claim as a small victory), however, don't be naive in thinking I wasn't aware of what I was doing making the comment I posted a few days prior to your recent monkey rant,it was subtle enough for most to glance over, while personal enough to rub you the wrong way

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Fuck you. What am I ? The king of awkward ????

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solid laugh.... exactly.

bdm...press him for an answer. if not run it up the flag pole... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWnbUpkOiB0

it's okay to listen to that and look at this..

it really is.. i like the fat one.

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Give me tierney's full lips, big naturals bootyliciousness every day and twice on Sundays.

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^^^ Right clck > Save

Not too long ago I got a PM from tierney asking me to take down the hustler pics as they were, ahem, "copyrighted material." It turned out she couldn't tell the difference between "JB" and "JRV". Heh.

Anyhow, the other fella ended up acquiescing to her demands. But not before I saved 'em.

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You mean this one?

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It might not be me, although I might not give as much of a shit anymore, Monks was only as good as his competition, that stands true today which leads me to....

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some of these assholes have been hanging around like old women for years and years and years and haven't developed any talent at all, no fucking influence at all (raises arm). otherwise we wouldn't have to suffer through the white noise of (insert your favorites) including those too inept for suicide and too unrepentent to mount a Skill-saw,

it is now about too cool, too lazy, too dumb, too drunk or too moved on to comment. sure the end has been declared since the beginning and no doubt they'll find a way to look back on this as a boom time somehow yet it is an emptiness, a vacuum darker than luke ford's decayed dreams of a once joyous mind*

alas, there is a remarkable shot near the end, showing a candlelight march reaching as far as the eyes can see. it is emotionally devastating. we have never seen a funeral quite like it, yet it is like many funerals.

in the age of porno dan dry humping a couch meaninglessness and spectacle i bid thanks for the laughs monkey. (roll credits, zoom on nip pubes)



* odds are that if luke ford and holly randall were to assess their lives in this very moment, they're not where they'd once dreamt to be.

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Best wishes to Holly ! Alcohol addiction is a fucking monster.

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Oh Monkey, Monkey, Monkey... what lies you won't come up with to get my attention again.

A friend told me you were spreading rumors I was drinking again (naughty boy!) and I wasn't even going to respond but you know how people tend to automatically believe what they read on the internet, especially when it's posted from the XPT guru himself.

No I am not drinking again, no I am not in rehab, but thanks for thinking of me enough to come up with these little untruths.

Since you are so interested in my life, I'll give you a quick update: I'm headed out to the poppy fields tomorrow to shoot Ashleyy Grace. Then on Friday I'm shooting newcomer Isabella Fierra, and on Sunday I'm shooting Emily Bikini. The following week I'm doing a private shoot for a married couple, and then I shoot another new girl named Kristi. The week after that I have a two day shoot for Quiver books (they are softcore sex-guide books that I shoot for on a regular basis), then I'm shooting Asphyxia Noir for Suze.net, and then Sarah Peachez for Twistys. The week after that I fly out to Texas to shoot for Fleshlight, and then in May I'm flying out to Prague to shoot for a couple of weeks. Believe me, if I was still drinking, there is no way I could be working this much.

It's great to see you back in action, though your talents are probably better spent on others who lead more interesting lives than I. I'm just not enough of a trainwreck these days-- that feels like another lifetime ago!

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Best wishes to Holly ! Alcohol addiction is a fucking monster.

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it's a friendly, faithful, comforting monster though.

btw monkey trolled your old ass.

another win boss.

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Meh...who gives a shit ? Not me !