Totally written on a phone, spit out, totally riffing here jackson Pollock style and i'm just gonna go with it. sometimes i use we and you interchangably; sometimes not. i didnt edit. but i'm sure you can fig out.

Fiend posted earlier about a tech glitch on the board and how he found it interesting but others may not. No hate for those who are amused by such slight details of randomness, but it amused me as well. Weird since I'm not a tech person or even a DIY-er.

But nah, it IS fascinating. I just feel bad I wasn't around to help and malice was prolly off at crate n barrel buying a lamp for his den of racism. Hi, Tritone!

i've seen some weird tech glitches here which shortly fixed themselves, but they still fascinate me. what;s up with when it indicates there's still 1 or ANY unread posts threads which should be NOT in bold because you were logged in and just read its latest post; thus the complete thread by default in computer infrastructure speak.

and worse, you're gone for a month plus and even the shit you KNOW you read comes up all bolded, so you think, 'great! new posts on a jamesn thread...woot!!' ONLY for the let down that it's the same shit as before and just a glitch.

wastes valuable read time for you ppl in your day where xpt time is precious and few.

hope no one sees the hilary scott vag yeast pic you didn't know, after 3 years of nothing, would resurface on a usually safe-for-general public thread too boring for an xpt outsider and no crazy pics to grab unwanted attention interrupting just sitting in peace as lou cypher pwns a bitch per usual. cool- totally safe; i can read in peace without attrcating unwanted onlookers or judgement. or shrieks or write-ups.

fuckin' non-xpt'ers. they couldn't handle our crew anyway even if they're cool at the water cooler and talk d.loading porn all cavalier like we're supposed to be impressed or even scared cuz they watched something as kinky as anal sex. POSERS. We amassed a huuuge porn collection before free porn existed and didn't waste our wad on just g/g. moreover, we recognized at first read, this shit ain't about porn anyway.

"My dear XPT, you had me at why?! why?! why?!"

xoxoxo to that.

only superior intellect with an mfa in schadenfreund, misanthropy, merry pranksterism, and vast message board community experience would only 'get' us, and that's still after much lurking. the key here is character study. porn is just the fluffernut which originally bound us together due to an evil deity and ADT expat named Jeff Steward. See, ADT begat XPT like when Lucifer got voted outta Heaven and he took his fallen angelness to create Hell. Yo JB or Fatman, correct this Athiest if she's wrong. My parents thought education was more important than religion and they thought religion was like mythology but fuck yeah we had the most bad ass Christmas display on the block every year and i jizz in my pants for Fall, Winter, and Christmas.

Moving on, no offense to ADT. They have their own style and admin Steph has her reasons for finding Jeffy to rogue for them. Bottom line: Jeffy made the best of the situation and created his own board. His way. A censorship-free board where we're free to agree or disagree. Unfortunately, sometimes things get racist or anti-sem, anti-Muslim, or classist but that's the downside of free speech, so deal with it or talk shit back if you're offended. Or leave. You're also FREE to leave. We won't judge when you come crying back because underneath it all, we're fucking THAT awesome or either that, you tried the Martha Stewart board and got made board bitch there, too. See, with freedom, there's danger: however, it's human nature for people to end up naturally governing themselves, regardless if it's a message board or in real life. Anyone piping up about anarchy needs to read a fucking book. I bet Sasha Grey already signed it for you. She's real like that and cordial, actually.
Bonus pts if it's the anarchist cookbook and you burn your never washed Crass jacket trying to make a homemade bomb. Circle A. you eat at Circle K.

Now LADIES, about Sasha Grey since you think you're too savvy to worship Jenna. Or you're just from a younger generation....99% of you hopefuls won't be the next Sasha Grey either. There's only one Sasha Grey and there's only one you. Why take that gamble? Do porn because it feels fast, reckless, sexy, whatever, or admit the TRUTH that you ALSO LOVE porn's easy life and EASY CASH that accompanies this line of work. Until you're shot out, that is. Everyone gets shot out no matter how pretty they are. Unless you're Sasha, Jenna, etc but an outlier 0.00001% is an exception, not an example. But if you're not delusional, you'll have left before then anyway. Hey, another great reason for TRUTH brought to you by the letters X-P-T. It keeps you NON-DELUSIONAL. I'm here to help. I'm a people person at heart though I'm reserved in public. Personally, doing porn was a great experience; it felt punk rock at times, it felt screwed up in a good way, I traveled on someone else's dime. It was a great time for porn. Circa 2003-06 was straight up money, spent like it'd never end. The internet was still the Wild Wild West and you could make a mint with even a shoddy half-assed website. Porn companies sprung up from nowhere. Hence always avail work combined with it still a tad socially unacceptable to be a porn performer created the my dream formula of much work + not so many chicks = thank you for funding my mortgage, savings account, and my Barneys New York addiction. I'd mainline the women's section if their fashion week gift bags contained the proper gauge needles. I admit, I took sick advantage of that time period which I rightly suspected was fleeting. To celebrate this unlikely, totally obtainable heaven where my 5 hour work day ended with either shopping/lunching L.A. or watching 90210 re-runs, l quit porn before it got boring. I loved being a professional fuck star as much as the non-work time it granted me to be a professional fuck up! Because I liked porn that much, I wanted the honor of always being amused, entertained, amazed, sometimes disgusted, and admittedly worshipped on a small, shallow scale. I lived for novelty then. For me, boring always created resentment. The Veni Vidi Vici approach and saving your money always feels sexy and rock star. Trust.


Some people are very protective as to not burst the shiny happy porn people bubble certain adult industry folk and fans alike reside. Sometimes, it's as delusional as Celebration, Florida. Yes, that's a real town made by Disney and as veneered with a forced perma-grin as it sounds. Don't wear an Anal Cunt World Tour t-shirt there. Long story.

The latter I feel is a service to all porn girl hopefuls in Iowa reading Jenna Jameson's book and not realizing Jenna's fame was a beautiful fluke not just dependent upon her looks and popularity, but because it was a different era in porn, a different time in the world. There will never will another Jenna. Just another there will never be another you. May that be 6 months or 6 years before your star fades. That doesn't always depend on you no matter how gorgeous you are and how great your scenes. It's the truth some ppl are too afraid to say for fear they'll hurt your feelings and you'll stop being their fan just as they're a fan of yours. Don't worry. true fans love you when you're you. notice that's different and actually more valuable than unconditional love. we'll broach that another essay.

Praise Mr. Steward and his main man Tony Malice on taking initiative and changing the face of porn gossip, social graces, and message board antics all due to NOT hate...but TRUTH. They wanted a board where unabashed truth and expression could run free. raw fucking truth. truth about porn, truth about the lives in porn, truth about the humanity in porn, truth about the manipulation in porn, truth about the fans' true desires...and with all that comes the xpt posters who ARE the judges of truth yet fair enough to decide case-by-case scenario with sometimes wiggle room for benefit of the doubt even if WHORE'S LIE.. XPT is open to being proven wrong. they're open to be proven surprised at any life experience stereotype dying to be shattered yet will call you on your shit mercilessly (sometimes cuz we care and it's tough love, sometimes it's hazing of the whores aka internet darwinism mixed with hope that one will 'get us.' not because we're fanbois even if she's our object du jizz but because we have mad respect for a girl who's hot AND can hang as an equal with enough precision to know when it's bait to test your wit (not strength. that's a misnomer. any loser can be tenacious. fuck that shit) or just some troll we wish would die because he's not smart enough to be funny, let alone mean. good trolls are different. you won't know they hit you until lyou're backtracking in your head like a bad past relationship like wtf just happened. but thank god, you discovered the edit button in time. but don't worry; on all boards there are very few trolls that masterful, and no, i'm not giving you a heads up. ladies, it behooves you to self-realize this. And when you, a chick can hang here and 'gets' this place- you've unlocked the communication rubicon between venus and mars or at least swindled more fans for your Amazon wishlist. Win/win either way.

No trying to counter this by pointing out on that I'm single usually. do as i say, not as i do.

Back to EVERYONE, NOT JUST THE LADIES: If you suck or are caught back peddling out of your lie, we will never let you hear the end of it.

a) because it's been proved as true through a series of verbal dead poet's society style proofs
or b) no reason; we're sick of some bitch lying about how she's a Harvard grad but traded the rare, coveted gateway to riches/success for a porn career 'BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I AM SOOOO HORNY; THUS MY SCENES ARE THAT STROKEWORHTY CUZ I'M SO REAL UNLIKE THOSE OTHER PORN STARS'
3) a poster is so idiotic they're born victims. (search 'herd is hungry.' image tags
4) they're alex panzer.

great, meanwhile, there's a mob incited by the cubicle next door now surrounding your puter screen and it's forced show and tell time. you're the unwilling mc forced to say something- anything. choose. hurry! make it funny if you're grasping for straws and don't feel justifying yourself to an uninvited crowd. but hurry! they're waiting. oh, and lest i remind you you have to face these people daily and your 90 days hasn't even kicked in yet for insurance. it's a delicate line. more delicate than trying to out monkey smelly monkey for he will cut a bitch. with his words are poetic slices from expensive rare german or japanese blades appearing as thin/harmless as paper and bitch knows your game in reverse; meaning you're already starting off in the neg even if your strategy is to own your shit like cxxx. you know, call yourself out first to gain ownership of what most will prolly perceive as folly rather they're wrong because you LOVE and defend your love for (fill in the blank. cxxx has done it all) or it's your pre-game self-defense move. either way works fine. just remember your reason because keeping track of your lies is manipulation 101. it's chess. it hurts my head; hence why i'm too lazy to lie.

ok, whoa, work neighbors gather round and we haven't even gotten to the fact that it's a PORN board and that there ARE porn message boards in existence. the kicker is that the usually inevitable porn part is looming in the ghost of office inappropriateness future is thank god the least of your worries when they're all still stuck on what the fuck is some chick's yeasty snatch on there and little do they know, it's actually less contextual since it's not even in in the yeasty snatch thread. or naked gimps. or the gif where brandon and ryan have a conversation, or pxp your ride. or most loopnode threads. desi should be happy to know her posts won't make the office gossip rounds since most ppl will confuse huge blocks of text with office related stuff and hurriedly skip over it, no matter how salacious pimping your daughter sounds.

now do tell, any office embarrassments or having to defend xpt stories from you all? would love to know. if not, i gave you plenty of pointers on why xpt is so fucking awesome. even when it's boring, it's core, it's intention is everything i poured out on my laptop from the comfort of my 1,000 thread count sheets. i know my shit. i defend this joint no matter how long a break, and any haters can go suck it.

xpt forever. my home. however dysfunctional it may be.

'bout time you admitted that ! You could have been briefer though....shit !

Truer words, Gia. And the length was just right. It all suddenly made sense, and you had to share. To be right, it had to be a long read. If no gets it, you do. And that's all that matters. As a long winded poster, I loved your effort.

You pretty much nailed it for me. I'm sure if we're elite, or just super sad as a discussion group. But I do know we're unlike any other, no matter how bad they may act. We're a unique crowd. Not quite 4chan, but we're not quite a My Little Pony forum, either.

Gia, could you loan me your Anal Cunt World Tour shirt sometime, please? I'm feeling jealous.

This dude abides.

It's nice to know that Gia can be passionate about something other than the fashion du jour. That's why I'll give her a pass and not go all grammar nazi on her.

Gia's post is the kind a rant a tweaker or someone who drank too many energy drinks might spew out while foaming at the mouth and extremities trembling.

Good Whore.

great read.

I swear, as much porn as I have been obsessed over (I still miss the Mag I bought in downtown Hollywood that had a fantastic layout of Candie Evans back in the day, where you can see the blonde hairs on her ass glisten while getting it from behind from God Bless, a mope that isn't LOOK AT ME assholes like Christian and Brandon), I have never heard of Gia Jordan until I have browsed this site. To be really more honest, I have attempted to look her sex scenes up. IMO, there is nothing sexier than a Gia Jordan post compared to her performing sex. It's not that it wasn't sexy and she wasn't hot. Gia Jordan is uber smart, funny, and talented.What she adds here is ultra sexy because of her ultmate sex organ, her brain.

Now, I am not going AC Cream here. I don't do fanboi. I really, really love strong women. Gia is witty, intelligent, ballsy, and this site is ten times better with her than without her.

Thank you Gia. You correct the discourse here. Don't ever leave here.

that was fucken awesome. way to put it out there Gia...

i loved this....

Quote:

---

Unfortunately, sometimes things get racist or anti-sem, anti-Muslim, or classist but that's the downside of free speech, so deal with it or talk shit back if you're offended. Or leave. You're also FREE to leave. We won't judge when you come crying back because underneath it all, we're fucking THAT awesome or either that, you tried the Martha Stewart board and got made board bitch there, too. See, with freedom, there's danger: however, it's human nature for people to end up naturally governing themselves, regardless if it's a message board or in real life. Anyone piping up about anarchy needs to read a fucking book.

---

def post of the year.

Gia, why do you have 2 last names?

I was having a pretty shitty day. So, when I'm feeling down and out about stupid shit, I troll xpt.


Gia Motha Fuckin Jordan... Thank you. For bringing a smile to my pouting, pissed off face.

I'm not even gonna comment on the comments because, well yeah, you guessed it... And in my own decades-old words; if I have to explain it, you couldn't possibly understand.


All hail Gia's wise and hungry words; a new testament (as in TESTIFY, M@L@QU@$!) is being re-written, and since there's nothing I can trully come up with which would indeed have any additional value (or disposeable trash crack tradeables) here's a few Xcerpts from the lady herself... Amen!


"only superior intellect with an mfa in schadenfreund, misanthropy, merry pranksterism, and vast message board community experience would only 'get' us, and that's still after much lurking. the key here is character study. porn is just the fluffernut which originally bound us together due to an evil deity and ADT expat named Jeff Steward."


There is something about the record being set straight and finally having the cat out of the dimebag, the origins of the being and creationism of existance. Thank you or fuck you, we can't decide except for our own selves for our own selfish needs and selfish beings...


"sometimes things get racist or anti-sem, anti-Muslim, or classist but that's the downside of free speech, so deal with it or talk shit back if you're offended. Or leave. You're also FREE to leave."


Need anyone ever say more? Give free speech a chance and watch the hatred grow; thank the Goddess for islands of relief within a troll sea of pure shit drivel!


"Anyone piping up about anarchy needs to read a fucking book."


That's like asking a 22 year old to like without a wireless cell phone... Or asking Best Buy to honour their extended waranties without fucking you over by holding on to your camera for over 4 months... Bastards! Anyway...


"99% of you hopefuls won't be the next Sasha Grey either. There's only one Sasha Grey and there's only one you. Why take that gamble? Do porn because it feels fast, reckless, sexy, whatever, or admit the TRUTH that you ALSO LOVE porn's easy life and EASY CASH that accompanies this line of work. Until you're shot out, that is. Everyone gets shot out no matter how pretty they are."

Fuck yeah, the nature of the beast and it is unfortunate (wait! I'd better not show my true colors here for I will be shot down!) but alas, the nature of consumerism. In a world gone absolutly bonkers in this McDonalds universe, porn is perhaps the least hypocritical evil or all commercial media evils. One of the rare money-making masterpieces yet not totally endorsed by the Culture Industry and turned into a free primetime product... Not yet anyway, but we're close... so damn close!


"I'm here to help. I'm a people person at heart though I'm reserved in public. Personally, doing porn was a great experience; it felt punk rock at times, it felt screwed up in a good way, I traveled on someone else's dime. It was a great time for porn. Circa 2003-06 was straight up money, spent like it'd never end. The internet was still the Wild Wild West and you could make a mint with even a shoddy half-assed website."


HeyZeus Effin Cripes this shit rings true like Amanda Blank on speedwaggons... It's like someone crawled into my brain 10 years ago and grabbed the tip of a melting iceberg and made into a new gospel, minimised and thrusted foward into public view... I feel a tear coming on!


"l quit porn before it got boring. I loved being a professional fuck star as much as the non-work time it granted me to be a professional fuck up! Because I liked porn that much, I wanted the honor of always being amused, entertained, amazed, sometimes disgusted, and admittedly worshipped on a small, shallow scale. I lived for novelty then."


I keep supporting porn for the eras which I loved, not the era we are in... Someone has to remember the pre-WWW interweb mega conglomerates creating even flashier-than-thou-in-the-pan products, or else no one will recall how it came to be, where is began, how it took forever to transform and when it started going downhill... Too bad I only offer my class in a private school and unlisted now because DAMN!


"not realizing Jenna's fame was a beautiful fluke not just dependent upon her looks and popularity, but because it was a different era in porn, a different time in the world. There will never will another Jenna. Just another there will never be another you."

They try, they try, they keep on trying to re-invent everything, and re-clone the once and perfectly beautifulimagery which captured so many... And the more they try, the further they get away from the original intent until the smoorzGAbored become a mash-up which contains too many copies of cloned out re-hashs that we forget about the purityu which was once a blessing, and easilly allow ourselves to drown within too much of a "good" thing... Too much is never enough...


"It's the truth some ppl are too afraid to say for fear they'll hurt your feelings and you'll stop being their fan just as they're a fan of yours. Don't worry. true fans love you when you're you. notice that's different and actually more valuable than unconditional love. we'll broach that another essay."


Ah, if only the world was this way; true fans are basically a dying breed where the Culture Industry tried to reprogram them with the latest app on their G4 phone, transforming their brainwashing into hip new forgettable tunes which speak only to those who cannot trully listen. Character is out, personnality is in... Love may as much have become the next thing to hit the top 40 for this week and soon enough dis-intergrate into the garbage wasteland of HASBEEN and NEVERWAS... In the end, what does indeed really matter (oh shit I'd better stop because I am actually starting to leak through here!)


"raw fucking truth. truth about porn, truth about the lives in porn, truth about the humanity in porn, truth about the manipulation in porn, truth about the fans' true desires..."


And all that is truth is but a matter of perseption... We are all made of stars. Watch us fall from high mighty into the masses of the unknown. Crash and burn and then go green and recycle the leftovers. Truth is nothing but a matter of opinion, for even trying to tell the truth, you taint it with your words, your views, your perceptions, and your desire to push it foward or push in back at the end of the line... Truth is yours to take and yours to ignore, yours to manipulate and yours to absorb... What you do with what you are exposed to is limited by how you were programmed to percieve reality, and nothing more...


"they're open to be proven surprised at any life experience stereotype dying to be shattered yet will call you on your shit mercilessly (sometimes cuz we care and it's tough love, sometimes it's hazing of the whores aka internet darwinism mixed with hope that one will 'get us.' not because we're fanbois even if she's our object du jizz but because we have mad respect for a girl who's hot AND can hang as an equal with enough precision to know when it's bait to test your wit (not strength. that's a misnomer. any loser can be tenacious. fuck that shit) or just some troll we wish would die because he's not smart enough to be funny, let alone mean."

Ah yes the trolls; it is as if forests have grown over the concrete jungles and a new race of trolls is popping up every minute... Everyone carefully hidden behind the anonymity of the WWW interweb is so pleased with themselves being able to diss everyone and everything because they themselves cannot do it... Jealousy and envy are just a matter of everyday life and with direct PMing online to everyone at once, one can indeed hate en masse without ever the fear of being pointed at, for the minute they post, they are gone, never to return, simply spreading more of the eletronic hate machine to infect others... Poor poor sods who can't deal with the world they have helped to create!


"choose. hurry! make it funny if you're grasping for straws and don't feel justifying yourself to an uninvited crowd. but hurry! they're waiting. oh, and lest i remind you you have to face these people daily and your 90 days hasn't even kicked in yet for insurance."

Still waiting for the first payment to come in, and it's been years in the making. Before my four winters is up and the fading memory of a once blinking dot on a screen is silenced forever, thousands will pass by never knowing what they have missed, not caring either because all they wait is everything right now, tomorrow's music at yesterday's prices TODAY. And in 10 minutes, it's something else, and the hip jargon is fast becoming the ever-mutating polymorph who will pretty soon be unable to change its shape fast enough to keep up with its own DNA... Speaking of which, stupid Hollywood is coming out with a remake/prequel of THE THING, prooving once and for all that there is no artistic integrity left in this hemisphere... Hell, I knew this day would come; I have foreseen it, and yet no one listened until the official teaser leaked out online and now all the fans are crying shame... Warned yoU! Been there! Did it! Silenced and shot, hung, stabbed, even electrocuted a few times, but this time, it's decapitation!


Yes, yes, I know; copy copy copy, plagerism, and you're just a Gia stalker, Butter... Keep blabbing maybe one day someone will listen! But the truth is that the new world order has come and gone, and the only Bible that matters is the one we continually re-write for ourselves.


The truth is a matter of perception. I guess I decided to quit drugs, sober up, and become my own parody just in time...


Farewell and see you in the next instalment!

tl;dr

Can anyone post a condensed version of butterman's opus? I stopped reading around line 783.

let's do this in steps. i'll ask berry to read it and then post his review. then someone can get in touch with daburg etc.. or maybe just ask guapo?.

i thought i read something about a reptilian conspiracy in your first post?.

meth and/or speedballs are fun at first but then you start posting burg length messages and its time for rehab.

Gia you are the awesomest!!! I'd really love to see you in some new scenes

bump

I don't even remember the forum glitch Gia made reference to in her post.