He's a foreign-born actor of physical roles, and now he is close to being too old and fat for the action. He might have to play for both teams for campaign funds. He would also need a domestic partner to stand next to him at photo ops, if he can find one short enough.

How come all of your posts are pure shit?

Wait...wait. I want to see where this is going. He's on to something.

Brandons Slogan:

Everyone gets 40 STD's and a mule.

I just want to give back to the country that gave me so much.

No fair, man. I totally set you up. But seriously, my blood is so congealed with prescriptions, my doctor says I must have grown up near Love Canal in 1970s.

What makes this even funnier is that I was working for Hooker Chemical back then. (Ok....an obscure reference. I got it from the wiki page for Love Canal. It's the corporation that dumped 21,000 tons of toxic waste into the environment.)