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Hi, my name is Ashley. I came from a really great family but I have always struggled with awful, low self esteem.

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At first, when I moved and chose to perform in pornographic films, I was so adamant about NOT doing drugs and alcohol. But, after a year or so of that so-called “glamorous” life, I sadly discovered that drugs and drinking were a part of the lifestyle. I began to drink and party out of control! Cocaine, alcohol and ecstasy were my favorites.

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I got a boyfriend in the industry which ended up dragging me into an even darker depression. I remember being in a dark room, drunk and high on cocaine. I wanted to kill myself. Suicide seemed to be the only thing that felt right for me. I was hurt over and over, so many times in this industry.

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To get my life back! So, I moved back home in February 2010 and have been back living with my parents for almost eight months! Being an extremist, I got engaged to a forty three year old lawyer after a month of living at home. That situation made me more miserable than ever!

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Sometimes I still have this desire to go back and just disrespect myself because reality is that is how I am viewed. I have to constantly fight this temptation.

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God has completely done a miracle in my life! I'm not the same!

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