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Also, help me solve the following problem: Pervert X goes to strip club where he is known and well liked as a regular, non-psycho normal pervert. He engages whore Y for several hours of time in a private quiet booth in the back for the sum of 400 bucks plus booze. Terms are struck for Pervert X to bring Whore Y back to his hotel room for the evening (say from 2 am until breakfast), and a flat rate of 1500 bucks for the entire time span is agreed upon. The variable here is the "tip", which Pervert X wants calculated according to the number of splooges Whore Y manages to cause him to attain....an extra 100 bucks per splooge, with a Bonus of 400 bucks if she manages to gobble 3 splooges. Whore Y however insists that, if her tip is to be based upon the loads she squeezes out of Pervert X, the higher she goes in the splooge department, the greater the tip she gets, which should escalate on something more than a straight/linear rate. she insists on a 10% of the total fee (1500) tip for each of the first 2 pops, 35% for 3 pops, and 50% for 4. She thinks highly of her oral skills so she feels justified in asking for this.




Hello Burg,

Just ignore the line-up of losers and amateurs trying to offer unsolicited advice.

I always find it awkward and unseemly to discuss specifics like how many pops I expect or the amount of compensation. The way I'd play it is as follows. When you've isolated your target and know that she is the type of dancer that is open to "extras", blow her away with a $1000 tip. Lead her to believe that's what you normally lay on your favorite girls. Let her figure out on her own (but don't say directly) that there's a chance for you to become a regular or for a sugar daddy relationship. You should have no problem getting her back to your room and getting whatever you want for the entirety of the night.



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I'm seriously thinking of spiking her Chambord with 3 or 4 crushed Oxys so she just passes out and I can beat off on her at my leisure. Please help before I do something to get myself arrested.





Bad idea for a multitude of reasons. Most of these chicks are already on any number of meds: prozac, xanax, wellbutrin etc etc etc. You don't want a castrophe on your hands. Don't fuck with it. Just drink mixers (prepared by yourself), so she'll have to do the same. Put about half a shot in your drinks and about 2 shots in hers. Then give her shit for being a killjoy and not matching you drink for drink.




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Real Estate - 28%
Stocks - 30%
Bonds (all types) - 12%
Precious Metals & Commodities - 18%
Cash - 12%




Your allocation is spot on and timely for present conditions. In particular, I like your low exposure to stocks. The bond market is changing (gov issuers having higher ratings than they deserve/junk bonds coming back big etc), so I'd be as conservative as possible in this area.

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