I rode the 1600 cc motorcycle across 70 or so miles of the Heartland to attend the huge Ohio State Fair in Columbus today. I cannot really express how huge this fair is. I know all you porners worry about growing is grapes and pot, but I'll share some of our midwest goodness for you.

From the freeway to my parking spot took about 10 minutes, the Highway Patrol controls everything at the Fair and does a great job. The bathroom I went into was spotless. Lots of shady spots, and air conditioned buildings, for those who need a break. And LOTS of nice corn fed, fap worthy Ohio girls.



There are huge barns for each type of farm animal. This is half of the pig barn. I wish I could send the great smells of the fair out to LA and NYC for you folks on here. Better than what I smelled in the big cities, similar, but different.



Here are some of the critters I saw, here is a cool looking rabbit. Yes, the rabbits have their own barn, there are tons of different kinds, several hundred rabbits there for judging.



Here are some chickens, there are also turkeys and ducks in this huge barn.



We grow things big in Ohio, this speaks for itself.



The fair, did I say it, is huge. Any kind of great fair food you could want. My favorites are the lemonade shake-ups, corn on the cob, fried pickles, and those greasy fries.



There are tons of carnival rides, including two old fashioned merry-go-rounds.





Now for the good stuff. Cows, city people, give us meat, milk, and butter. This is a cow, there were hundreds there.



If you come out here to the fair, you will have an opportunity to milk.



And, here is what I know all of you have been waiting for. Yes, the huge butter sculptures. Yes, a cow, a little cow, and two football players, full size, carved out of real butter. Here you go.









I hope you enjoyed this short glimpse into our Ohio State Fair.

-Chuck, Vegetarian fanboy

drop dead, hick

What were the prices for food.

And about corn: it comes out embedded into poop, the kernels.

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BUNNIES!!

This looks like it fucking blows. WTF is recycled butter? Now I'm afraid to eat butter. This thread is disgusting and proves there's a demographic for a Walmart Greeter Gag Factor series.

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the Highway Patrol controls everything at the Fair

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Well. That leaves me out.

Years ago I was at the Eastern States Expo, sub titled New England's State Fair. They had replicas of each state's capital building, along with all the live stock and carni stuff. It was really cool.

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WTF is recycled butter?

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That looks a lot like the Harrisburg Farm Show but I went to that in the 8th grade as a class field trip. I couldn't imagine enduring that shit as an adult unless I had kids or something.

I couldn't imagine enduring it sober.

Yeah, Harrisburg was fun, but just a day trip.

Ha...small world. (and here's some trivia for you 80s kids)

I've met Bob Kling (the butter sculptor) a few times a couple years ago after a Star Wars toy show in Mexico City.

He worked at Kenner toys from the early 80s until they closed and then moved to Hasbro. He did a lot of sculpting work on the original Star Wars line and most of the Kenner toys released into the 90s (Ghostbusters, Jurassic Park including the giant T-Rex and even the box-office hit Waterworld among a ton of others.) If you remember the Late Night with Conan O'Brien clip where Con-ney went and had his own GI Joe figure made, Bob was the guy who did it.

He started doing those butter sculptures during the Ohio Fair with a bunch of people who worked in the toy sculpting design at Kenner toys which was based in Cincinnati. They found it to be a fun summer break to hone their craft and work in a much larger and weird medium than the normal wax they were used to. He told me it was a total cluster fuck trying to get it done before it melted and doing most of the work in a freezer.

And its interesting that one of the people who helped was an Erin Swearingen, it was probably her dad, Jim, who was the lead designer on all the original Star Wars toys.

So if you were a kid and had a Star Wars toy as a kid or most of the cool toys from the 80s, it was probably Bob who sculpted it from scratch (not butter).

Years ago I was doing some consulting work in Des Moines, Iowa at the time of the Iowa State Fair. It is actually the first fair where butter sculptures appeared (I hate myself for knowing that). Anyway, I went over to the fair one night with a couple of colleagues from Chicago and NYC. We had more fun than we thought possible -- or rather we made fun of more people than we thought possible. The highlight of our evening was attending the Herman and the Hermits concert (yes, the original band). The most amusing thing about it was the way the crowd seemed to think they were being treated to A-list talent. It was 1995 and Herman looked like he should be in an assisted-living facility.

I don't see how anyone can't love the fair! Getting out and enjoying the great summer weather, excellent people watching. I cruise through the barns looking at critters, something funny usually happens, a pig goes off, a goat eats something, a rabbit gets loose, something. Beautiful horses, unusual stuff. There are crafts and art to look at, tons of junk food. Everyone is in a good mood. Flowers, they pump 'em up with nitrogen to make 'em bloom just in time for the fair. I really enjoy spending a couple hours at county fairs, and most of a day at Columbus.

I like steam tractors and tractor and truck pulls, too. Especially the big vintage farm equipment events. I love looking at that old stuff, and watching it run. And, every little town here has a festival some time in the summer, the strawberry festival in Troy is big. New Straitsville, I think it is, has a moonshine festival. Old car shows, stuff like that, what do ya'll do to enjoy the summer?

-Chuck, Vegetarian fanboy

Fairs can be ok. but this has been a hot summer with a hot week coming up here in the Land of Peasant Living.

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That looks a lot like the Harrisburg Farm Show

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Never went to that one, but when I was in college I went to some kind of fair [maybe county] in Allentown, PA [a couple of girls dragged me].

I irritated one of the girls [who later made me a sort of godfather to her kids] by mentioned how a certain cow made me hungry. It looked identical to the kind they would use in pictures where they show what cut of beef come from.





Long story short, the owner took my address send me a pack of steaks!! [from another cow, not the ribbon winner]





Otherwise, it was like a poor man's Coney Island with farm animals.

look at the rubes lining up to milk a cow

Actually, it's not noon yet, and those people are watching children pet goats.

sounds panzer-esque.

No alcohol at the fair.

WTF is the point then?

To see all the u/a farm girls in daisy dukes and tank tops bending over to tend to their bunnies.

Yet he couldn't manage a single pic of an attractive woman. So much for the clear thinking sobriety brings or do you think it was because he was in Ohio?

Thanks for the thread, Charin, I'm stuck out here in AZ and won't be able to make the Iowa State Fair this year.

that fair looks so playa son.

Fairs are good places to size up political candidates.

I had to check after the first post to see if this was a legitimate Charin post or if Mopez had found a new target to impersonate.

I was on my way to the fair to eat fair food and ended up across the street at Auddino's instead.
They have the best cannolis in town! Also it was getting dark and it gets a little sketchy in the evenings at the fair. If you get caught wearing the wrong color you could get "Glassed up" in the parking lot.

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They have the best cannolis in town!

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Cannolis?? in Ohio?



Don't tell me ... they have custard in place of ricotta.

Our fair is over, and the Highway Patrol keeps our parking lots very safe.

And I don't know what a "Cannolis" is, or if it should be capitalized.

You don't know what a Cannoli is??? FAAAACK man. Italian pastry. Hard tube shell w/filling made w/ricotta cheese. Sometimes chocolate chips. I found a place on Utica Ave in Brooklyn, that you can get the shells and the cannoli cream separate. The cream is frozen in a heat sealed bag, so you fill em when you need em.

I've seen those. Are they crunchy or soft? Cheesy or sweet? Messy to eat?

Is there a porn shop near where the WTC was?

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I've seen those. Are they crunchy or soft? Cheesy or sweet? Messy to eat?

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The outside is crunchy, the inside is soft. I don't find them cheesy, but very sweet. My mom used to make cakes with "cannoli" filing she made herself [she grew up in Coney Island's Italian neighborhood, and is married to a 1/2 Sicilian 1/2 Chassid, which fits her influences].

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Is there a porn shop near where the WTC was?

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Don't know. I assume there is. JB??

I believe that the cake is called cassata. Cannoli are excellent, but I kinda prefer "lobster tails".

I just realized, via Google, that the cannoli place is on New Utrecht. They have the lobster tails also, frozen, takes 40 minutes in the oven.

Isn't cassata the ice cream cake?
I remember an Italian place on Bergenline avenue (union city) which had some serious entrees cooked in the back by one of the surviving Italian families that still lived in the 'hood. I wish they had carried canolis. I would have gone there more often.

This thread has butter sculptures in it and this is XPT yet the thread is still alive. WTF?

Sooooooeeeeeeeeeeeee ! Here pig pig pig pig pig. Pig calling contest. Y'all here ?