Shelley Lubben is the leader of the Pink Cross Foundation. It is purportedly an organization that helps women transition to a life out of porn but in reality is a slush fund for Lubben. Tax returns show very little actually goes to helping the women while salaries, travel expenses, and posh hotel rooms eat up donations faster than Lubben’s porn alter-ego, “Roxy“, ate up cum during her days as a slut for hire. In Hustler parlance, Lubben more than qualifies as Asshole of the Month. She is ambitious enough to qualify for Asshole of the Year. Congratulations, you greedy, grafting grifter. Nailing you to a cross would be a good start but there is not a crown of thorns big enough to wrap around that Messiah complex head of yours.

I looked online and found some striking similarities between Jerry Falwell’s “first time” and Shelley Lubben’s.

Compare:


Shelley Lubben talks about her first time:
Lubben: My first time was in a church confessional outside Bakersfield, California.

Interviewer: Wasn’t it a little cramped?

Lubben: Not after I kicked the altar boy out.

Interviewer: I see. You must tell me all about it.

Lubben: I never really expected to make it with my brother, but then after I showed all the other guys in town such a good time, I figured, “What the hell?”

Interviewer: But your brother? Isn’t that a bit odd?

Lubben: I don’t think so. My priest taught me all about brotherly love, loving my neighbors, and spreading….er, turning the other cheek. I was just an eager beaver, I guess. My brother helped me choose “Roxy” as my stage name and even showed me how to use enemas so I wouldn’t make a mess during anal scenes.

Interviewer: Go on.

Lubben: Well, I was drunk off my ass on Church wine I stole mixed with Campari. Father told me to meet him in the confessional so he could show me some brochures on some missionary positions that would be opening up soon. I passed out and found my brother Christopher with one hand over my mouth and some date rape drugs in the other.

Interviewer: Campari in the confessional with your brother….how interesting. Well, how was it?

Lubben: The Campari was great but the drugs allowed me to relax my muscles….all of them, including the one guarding the back door.

Interviewer: Did you ever try it again?

Lubben: Oh, yeah! I love anal incest sex.

Interviewer: We meant the Campari.

Lubben: Oh, sorry. I usually drink the little mini bottles in the hotel rooms that are paid for by suckers who donate to my foundation. Basically, I travel around telling other people not to do what I did and how I am a much better person than they are because of my special relationship with Christ.

Interviewer: Uh….special relationship….?

Lubben: Look, I have to go to the Exxxotica convention and tell girls to drop on their knees only when it’s time to pray. Or if you are getting your rate. It’s what I tell my own daughters. Remember, do what I say, not what I do. You can do who I do, too, but I get to go first.

CAMPARI: YOU’LL NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST TIME.

To see Lubby pre-hubby, click on the link:
http://bigpichost.com/files/shellylubben_aka_55fe5phf.gif


Pink Cross Foundation: Fleecing members of the flock one dollar at a time.