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I'd pull up after school in my van and tell all the girls of St. Mary's Elementary that who ever could mix me the best Scotch and soda would win a "puppy" and by "puppy" I meant "waking up at 3 am to see me standing above your bed, high on meth, wearing nothing but your SheRa underoos and screaming at the top of my lungs till I blackout and wake up a couple days later in custody…"

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