Under the New Rule entitled “Strip Mall," Bill Maher writes:

Your daughter’s a whore. According to the FBI, there’s a new development in the prostitution game: Suburban teenage girls are now selling their white asses at the mall to make money to spend at the mall! Wow, I can’t even find an escalator that goes down.

Oh sure, I know what you’re saying: upper-middle-class Caucasian teen whoring? That’s something that happens to other people’s kids. But our little Ashley trading her coochie for Gucci? No way! Maybe you’re right. But if your daughter comes home with scraped knees, it might not be from jumping rope. And come on, nobody buys a BMW with “babysitting money.” If your kid’s name is on the mall directory under “services”…

The joke here, of course, is on white America, which always feels superior to blacks and often shows it with their feet, moving out of problematic urban areas. “White flight,” it’s been called. Whites feared blacks — they feared if they raised their kids around blacks, the blacks would turn their daughters into dope fiends and prostitutes. Now, through the miracle of MTV, damned if it didn’t work out that way!

You see, MTV is where Snoop and Jay-Z and 50 Cent tell their stories, the stories of their youth and being poor blacks. Pimps and drug dealers were the only role models they had. And now that whole world view is all up in your kid’s brain!

These days, little white boys want chocolate mamas with huge asses, and suburban girls apparently have accepted being a ho as just another hip lifestyle choice. If you take your kid to the mall this Christmas and she climbs into Santa’s lap face-first, you might want to look into it. And remind your little princess, if a young woman must exchange sex for material goods, she should do it the accepted way: through the sanctity of marriage.