I am a big fan of Bill Maher. Great commentator and I love how he speaks his mind. I’m reading NEW RULES: POLITE MUSINGS FROM A TIMID OBSERVER and it’s great. Highly recommended! I have to share one of his New Rules entitled Taint Misbehavin’:

Abstinence pledges make you horny. In a setback for the morals/values crowd, a new 8-year study reveals that American teenagers who take “virginity” pledges wind up with just as many STDs as the other kids do. But that’s not all — taking the pledge also makes a teenage girl six times more likely to perform oral sex and four times more likely to allow anal. Which leads me to an important question: Where were these pledges when I was in high school?

Seriously, when I was a teenager, the only kids having anal intercourse were the ones who missed. My idea of lubrication was oiling my bike chain. If I had known I could have been getting porn-star sex the same year I took Algebra II simply by joining up with the Christian Right, I’d have been so down with Jesus, they would have had to pry me out of the pew.

There are a lot worse things than teenagers having sex — namely, teenagers not having sex. Here’s something you’ll never her: “That suicide bomber blew himself up because he was having too much sex. Sex, sex, sex, nonstop. All that crazy Arab ever had was sex, and look what happened.”

The theory of the puritans of the 21st century seems to be: The less kids know about sex, the better. Because people who talk about pee-pees are potty mouths. And so armed with limited knowledge and believing regular vaginal intercourse to be either immaculate or filthy dirty, these kids did with their pledge what everybody does with contracts: They found loopholes — two of them, to be exact.

Is there any greater irony than the fact that the Christian Right actually got their precious little adolescent daughters to say to their freshly scrubbed boyfriends: “Please, I want to remain pure for my wedding night, so only in the ass. Then I’ll blow you.” Well, at least these kids are really thinking outside the box.


For more info, visit www.billmaher.com.

I went to Catholic school and it was the same thing. Some girls would take it up the ass because technically they were still virgins. And they'd let you finger them. Even back then I knew that was some fucked-up logic.

Maher is an America hating leftist idiot. He is predisposed to see things the way he does because he is part jew. It's a combination of nature and nurture.

New Rule: Short balding dudes who film themselves getting sex for money and put it on them internet are still just tricks. You know, johns.

New Rule: You can't make fun of the addicted, the downtrodden, or the follicly-challenged fallen.

Bill Maher is DA BOMB not as funny as was the late Bill Hicks, but one of the best alive today. Did Hill Hicks belong to a Third Reich enemy racial classification? Today is the 80th anniversary of the first time Geli Raubal cucked Der Furrier with Gregor Strasser. Did she make Der Furrier watch while Party Comrade Strasser longcocked her? Word has it that Der Furrier suck on Party Comrade Strasser's schwanze until he blew a load right in Der Furrier' face.

Ha ha, did you guys see Bill get handed his ass by George Will? If you haven't go youtube it, he was ill equipped to be on that show, he should leave serious politics to people that can think, and stick to comedy.

Thanks for the link. Hadn't seen it. Still, Maher has a good batting average when it comes to common sense politics and exposing hypocrisy. He and Jon Stewart are on top.

Nah, Stewart would be eviscerated on there too. It's facts not jokes that score points on shows like that.

I think it's turning facts into jokes. Stewart has some of the best comic reactions on tv.

But are facts really facts if they aren't facts to begin with? I appreciate your love of the truthiness of these guys, but a real political show would rip them to ribbons and have.

The best non-factual routine that I can recall was the one about Saddam Hussein sending his agents into deepest Africa in order to fulfill his fiendish scheme to attack America herself with nukes. Can't say it was funny though since more than five thousand young Americans lost their lives and tens of thousands more were mutilated due to this bullshit routine. Dubya, henkte am die laterne.

I guess a lot of people are like me. Average, try to read a paper once in a while and follow the news types but not really reading Op/Ed pieces on issues. I want my news Stewart-style: edgy, funny, and interesting. Just give me something for my head to gnaw on for 22 minutes.

Do you like Colbert, too?

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but a real political show would rip them to ribbons and have.

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where are these fact based shows where teh conservatives win that you are speaking of? Faux News? Daily Show is more fact based than that channel. Also more grounded in common sense which is why it is so popular.

Fighting Jim Webb could actually stomp some people who desperately need it into the ground.

His name is Jon Leibowitz. "Stewart" is an anglo-saxon surname that has nothing to do with his ancestors (gold traders from Minsk) or their desire to secularize their host country out of self-interest

if he was descended from the real Stewart family he wouldn't be so liberal, short and swarthy. he would also be more inclined to refrain from supporting an ideology that seeks to tear down this country and its institutions, which were built by his anglo-saxon forefathers.

One night Mistress Angelika (Geli) Raubal decided to really put Uncle Adolph/Slave Schickelgruber thatough a turn in the old barrel. She made Uncle Adolph sit in the corner and masturbate while Master Gregor Strasser longcocked her until she screamed and squealed. The she made slave Adolph suck on Master Gregor's cock, but this time she made him pull off Master Gregor' s cock prior to ejaculation. At Mistress Geli's command, slave Adolph stripped make and rode Master Gregor's cock reverse cowgirl while Leni Riefenstahl filmed the festivities. Poor slave Adolph could hardly take Master Gregor's cock, but eventually he rode and writhed and bounced up and down, while Mistresses Geli and Leni mocked his faggotry and assured him that he totally lacked the equipment to ever please or gain the respect of women who actually know him. Then Mistress Leni emitted an evil giggle and whispered a secret in Mistrees Geli's ear. At Mistress Geli's command, slave-bitch Adolph dismounted Master Gregor's cock, and Master Gregor then forced poor little slave Adolph to endure the A2M.

Under the New Rule entitled “Strip Mall," Bill Maher writes:

Your daughter’s a whore. According to the FBI, there’s a new development in the prostitution game: Suburban teenage girls are now selling their white asses at the mall to make money to spend at the mall! Wow, I can’t even find an escalator that goes down.

Oh sure, I know what you’re saying: upper-middle-class Caucasian teen whoring? That’s something that happens to other people’s kids. But our little Ashley trading her coochie for Gucci? No way! Maybe you’re right. But if your daughter comes home with scraped knees, it might not be from jumping rope. And come on, nobody buys a BMW with “babysitting money.” If your kid’s name is on the mall directory under “services”…

The joke here, of course, is on white America, which always feels superior to blacks and often shows it with their feet, moving out of problematic urban areas. “White flight,” it’s been called. Whites feared blacks — they feared if they raised their kids around blacks, the blacks would turn their daughters into dope fiends and prostitutes. Now, through the miracle of MTV, damned if it didn’t work out that way!

You see, MTV is where Snoop and Jay-Z and 50 Cent tell their stories, the stories of their youth and being poor blacks. Pimps and drug dealers were the only role models they had. And now that whole world view is all up in your kid’s brain!

These days, little white boys want chocolate mamas with huge asses, and suburban girls apparently have accepted being a ho as just another hip lifestyle choice. If you take your kid to the mall this Christmas and she climbs into Santa’s lap face-first, you might want to look into it. And remind your little princess, if a young woman must exchange sex for material goods, she should do it the accepted way: through the sanctity of marriage.