omerta's the word on the girl i'm with of course but i have some awesome ones. one kept breaking into her own place by tossing rocks through her bedroom window when she was wasted, which was at least three times a month. adt would come then she'd sheepishly have to call to have yet another window repaired.

another was good for snorting enormous lines of smurf-colored adderall in the doorway to a church in venice off some hideous painting i bought for the above purpose at an artisan shit shop that populate that city. she then proceeded to leak blue shit out of her nose throughout dinner where she threw a glass of wine in my face and cried. that was great.