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I have never....never....never STOOD in a line to meet any porn whore, much less mizz gergens...I dont even STAND in line at the organic produce stand on the Conn/Mass border near Enfield, I just have Jamal drive the burg van up, lower the ramp and have the Ricans from Puerto load up what I want while I sit in my pilots chair in the back drinking TSing Tao and watching porn on my Black(nblue)berry. Get a fucking clue would ya?

I also rarely if ever give gifts other than cash to whores, everything else seems useless...I think it is because I was traumatized by the ending scene to LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN, where the dupe character buys an expensive ring for the slut he helped get an abortion, thinking she now loves him, but instead he finds her back in the arms of the dick who got her preggo in the first place. No wonder I am such a paragon of enlightened immorality....







Did you meet Gia at the porn conventuon the year that XPTs top geeks/mods were invited? Did she make small talk for more than 5 minutes? Like Willie D, had you envisioned yourself hanging out with Gia for the weekend and possibly even crashing at her place? Did you realize that you're just a fanboy that night when you looked yourself in the mirror at the Howard Johnson Motel?
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