Last night, my ex informed me that he fucked 4 women in the past 4 weeks. So I took the antique diamond watch he'd given me on a Valentine's Day trip to San Miguel de Allende, and I smashed it to pieces with a hammer in my courtyard. Then put it back in its velvet case and hand-delivered it to him. I didn't hit him with the hammer or anything like that - I just told him that he was a poseur who would end up with herpes living in his Dad's basement surviving on a fifth of Smirnoff per day.

So what kind of things have your psycho ex-girlfriends done to all of you?

Quote:

---

I just told him that he was a poseur who would end up with herpes living in his Dad's basement surviving on a fifth of Smirnoff per day.

---

Comparing him to Ryan Knox is going too far.

Please explain why he told you this about the girls .

He obviously didn't care about your feelings and was going to end your relationship anyways , so the previous gifts that he had given you did not mean anything to him .

You should have taken the watch , or anything he has given you , and went to a pawn shop and got cash for it , for yourself . Then just stopped talking to him and forget him .

Quote:

---

Well now that I’m single, who knows? Honestly, I’m not sure I could set the bar lower than I already have. Unless your name is Stephen Hill.

---

G's met me; she could tell you. I'm gonna say I'm a solid 7.
We'll go someplace nice first....

The dating scene in SF is hellish. Having a few good friends in the city, and having spent a lot of time there myself, I know there's really no escaping a breakup there. It's like a shadow you can't shake. A shadow that likely knows everybody you know or will know, and probably already fucked a good number of them, or will someday, and everyone you want to avoid is but a stone's throw away regardless of what neighborhood you call home.

You're probably going to end up breaking a lot more shit from a lot of other ex's before your time in the city is through.

Beautiful city, though. And a great weekend getaway.

P.S. Sorta off topic, but in the 29 years I've been on this planet, I don't think I've ever come across an area of the U.S. as heavily populated by desperate, easy, attractive single women as the Marina District. Ridiculously easy pickin's.

Quote:

---

and appeared to have slept in the same shitty Men's Wearhouse suit for the past 3 days.

---

WTF?? Men's Wearhouse suit? That must've been some good dick. I'd have to be seriously dickmatized to be involved with such vile threads. And I'm sorry he was an unappreciative douche to have done what he did to you. You did the right thing. Sent a message in a cold, clever way and not the cliche slash your tires psycho bitch.

Tatty, you're an 8 or 9. Quit lying.

"dickmatized"

lol was that on urban dictionary or is it a gia jordan original?

Neither.

Quote:

---

Where did you meet Gia? I hear she spent an extra 3 minutes talking to Willie D and Burglar after they stood in line for a few hours to get her autograph at a smut convention.

---

Bukkake shoot. We went rummaging for antiques after.

Thanks, G....

I have never....never....never STOOD in a line to meet any porn whore, much less mizz gergens...I dont even STAND in line at the organic produce stand on the Conn/Mass border near Enfield, I just have Jamal drive the burg van up, lower the ramp and have the Ricans from Puerto load up what I want while I sit in my pilots chair in the back drinking TSing Tao and watching porn on my Black(nblue)berry. Get a fucking clue would ya?

I also rarely if ever give gifts other than cash to whores, everything else seems useless...I think it is because I was traumatized by the ending scene to LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN, where the dupe character buys an expensive ring for the slut he helped get an abortion, thinking she now loves him, but instead he finds her back in the arms of the dick who got her preggo in the first place. No wonder I am such a paragon of enlightened immorality....

Burg is correct. When he met me at the AVN convention, he showed up extremely early to avoid any lines. Not only that, JM gave him an industry badge so he could come before fan hours. Then he wheeled the fuck out before the general public showed up.

Oh for fucks sake, wait a minute....

January 2006: I decided last minute to go to AEE/AVn, after Jeff offered me a badge even though I had given my "mad MOD powers" to Willie D a month before....3 days before AEE started, Luke ford asked me to handle his website for the 4-1/2 days (including Jew Sabbath) that Luke would be wandering the AEE floor. I was at my peak (pique?) writing skills at that time, and Luke liked me and my style (until he found out I wanted to fuck holly REALLY bad....

Anyway, with business constraints, health concerns, and now Lukes site to play with, I decided to FLY out to Vegas from Hartford on the FRIDAY Night of the convention, whereby I ended up landing in Vegas at 2:15 am Saturday Morning....I promptly made a stop at the Flamingo casino (and O'sheas Irish casino next door where I left willie D a message) to say hello to some friends, then I went to club paradise to get a buzz on and fondle some other friends I have there, to get myself in a horny enough frame of mind to override my natural inclination to avoid the AEE floor in the firstplace; I did want to meet Gia very much, along with several other people and whores, but not as a fanboy....in fact, until Gia (several months later) discovered several of my persona faults and how big of a dick I can be sometimes, she was probably just as much a "fan" of mine as I of hers. And all this time, i am writing Luke's website using whatever material and shit I can think of (and doing a good job too according to everyone who spoke to me about it. Willie D chipped in to help too...


ANyway, after Club Paradise finally closed up at 7 AM Saturday, I had to get some food in me and take some pills to prepare for AEE experience, so I went back to the Monte Carlo where I had stashed my luggage, since I wouldnt be checking into my room until Saturday afternoon. By 9am I was At the Venetian/Convention Center, and NO ONE was there yet, so I rolled around looking at the booths and free porn, getting my bearings.

Finally, people started to trickle in; I wound up blabbing with Bill Margold in the PAW booth for a bit, then, just when I was about to go back out to the Venetian to down some shots of <anything with Alcohol>, I see Gia, in her "Suck seed" shirt, walking in with Anthony Malice (they were kinda an item briefly then.) The two of them spotted me in my hangover sunglasses and hat and we all smiled and immediately hit it off....it was one of my favorite moments of the whole show, since (at the moment in time anyway) we all liked each other a lot and got a kick out of each other. Tony took several pics of me and Gia, and invited me over to the jm booth, where I sat for a while getting all the uptodate gossip and happenings of the convention thus far. Sitting IN the JM booth, people thought I worked for them (one person even asked if I was Jeff steward since I didnt wear my gay-ass name badgetag, but hid it on the backside of my chariot.)

Gia was at the Anarchy booth and at some point later that morning after the show started and fan boys were abound, I rolled over to her booth, did NOT get in line but sat in my chair off to the side to watch and listen to her (and I also oogled Trina Michaels ass too cuz she was there as well.) Then, Gia kindly blew off some fan boys and came and sat again in my lap for a bit, told me I had a nice chest, and I marveled at how nice her amazing ass felt in my lap -- most strippers and whores have flabby mooshy butts that hurt my legs but gia's ass was the most awesome combo of firm and soft I ever felt.

We talked about a lot of things in the short time we chatted during that day, and ultimately she told me to come by the JM table at the awards show when she found out Jeff had given me a ticket. I went off then, found Christie Lee and Hailey Young and went and had drinks with them until about 4pm when I left the floor and went to my room to sleep before the show.

At 8:30pm I met Luke Ford at the Circle (jerk) Bar, and we had a nice brief chat....he was aloof but still complimented the job I did with his website; I also met a number of other people at the bar, before we all got in line to do the "Perv" walk into the Awards Show Auditorium...I almost ran over Randi Wright and her Mom while trying to crawl along at the snails pace of the line!

Inside the show, I again met up with all the JM people including Gia, but she was Tony's date and had to pay attention to him and Ashley Blue's moodiness, and Missy monroe's perversion. AT NO TIME BEFORE-DURING-AFTER that day did I go to any part of the AEE/AVN show EXPECTING to be with Gia or any other porn whore....I just showed up to see what's what...in actuality, Christie Lee was the ONLY chick I had any pre-set agenda with simply because we had chatted a lot prior to the show, and she invited ME to find her and seek her out so we could hang....

But still, meeting gia that day was the start of a kinda weird, but ultimately very cool and interesting friendship, and I consider her one of my very best whorefriends, one of my own [B52s]"Private Ideal-Hos"[/B52s]

Sorry to Pinupchick, i didnt meant to Hijack her cool thread, but I hates misinformation about the type of debauched life I lead!

Gia at the autograph table with Burg off to the side observing in silence from his chair is kind of a creepy image.

This line from Burg's post proves he's living in a complete fantasy world, "in fact, until Gia (several months later) discovered several of my persona faults and how big of a dick I can be sometimes, she was probably just as much a "fan" of mine as I of hers".

Google "resizing pictures". Thanks. Try 800x600.

I'm too lazy to gimp the wreckage, and the whole pic looks fine here. Google 4:3 1600x1200 CRT. Thanks.

I can't even make fun of Blink anymore, he has already put himself in the same category as Panzer. They are both virgins who have porn as kind of a hobby.

However I doubt Blink will spontaneously combust if he ever pays full price for something.

omerta's the word on the girl i'm with of course but i have some awesome ones. one kept breaking into her own place by tossing rocks through her bedroom window when she was wasted, which was at least three times a month. adt would come then she'd sheepishly have to call to have yet another window repaired.

another was good for snorting enormous lines of smurf-colored adderall in the doorway to a church in venice off some hideous painting i bought for the above purpose at an artisan shit shop that populate that city. she then proceeded to leak blue shit out of her nose throughout dinner where she threw a glass of wine in my face and cried. that was great.

Blue boogers and lack of a burn make snorting Adderall not worth it. Shit is so sweet that its like snorting a pixie stick. Definitely designed to facilitate addiction in kids.

yeah, the binders are mostly sugars. the comedy was that it was in the doorway of a catholic church and she was so confidently ordering in italian while the waiter was transfixed at the blue shit leaking from her nostrils.

any amphetamine salts in pill form are always going to be best taken orally, with an effort to create the most basic environment in your stomach as possible. prilosec and prevacid taken a little before the dexedrine or adderall do wonders to potentiate the stuff, both in increasing initial bioavailability and slows down the excretion of the shit in double digit percentages.

remember kiddies, listen to uncle my nosy and james and take your acid-reducers with your pills and NEVER down them with a glass of OJ or the like.

another one. i showered with this one, she had a glass shower and long brown hair, of which she lost two strands that ended up stuck against the glass during whatever shampooing she did.

no biggie, everyone loses a strand or two when water's splashing against you and you're running your fingers through it.

what freaked me the fuck out was that her method for removal of said two strands of hair was to swallow a bit of water and spit it out at the things like a fucking dolphin would.

totally changed things, she was now "the dolphin" to me.

Considering some of the topics and practices discussed on XPT, "dolphining' hair off a shower door seems trivial.

I dated a girl in college who had the most perfect tits I have ever seen much less touched and legs that were a mile long and locked behind my head perfectly. Blond. High school cheerleader.

I'd be sitting in the studio late night, working my ass off, and she'd call and say "I've been at the bar, and if you don't come get me and take me home with you I'm driving 25 miles to my parents and if I die it will be your fault".

I did a few times. Most of those times we'd screw but a few times she passed out.

I was young, principled and idealistic then. I felt that my life would consist of an endless supply of perfect tits, blond hair and long legs and so I quit going to pick her up.

I missed out on a LOT of crazy sex as a result, and I couldn't swear my grades were any better as a result.

I have seen her on facebook here lately, and she is pretty big and working on her figure, and once divorced. Maybe I dodged a bullet.

Hey Pinup, wanna fuck?

I placed a Gucci shopping bag on his doorstep, and inside wrapped in signature chocolate tissue, was his favorite shirt he lent me so I could sleep in his scent. Torn and ashed in tiny shreds.

-2pm. from my journal today.

what was his offense? the shirt smelled like another girl? women are part bloodhound with that shit.

how much meth would she do every week?