It's a little known fact that Chico Wang, God rest his soul, and I used to drink a lot. He was celebrating his ascent up the Diabolic food chain. I was mired in self-pity in having received 6 blowjobs in any given week instead of 7. I was seeking more, always more.

I stand here before you sitting at my computer to admit that I am an eater of ass, a rimmer of sphincters, and an analingusphile (if that is a word). Chico called me the night Presley Maddox came over for a facesitting session and I jokingly told him I was getting shitfaced. He said, "Me, too!" Before I could correct him, he said he had urgent business in Northern California and had to go.

It's the last time my drinking buddy and I spoke.

I gave up ass-eating after that and switched to 16-year-old Scotch. Her name is Nessa. She occasionally lets me rim her but I don't want to go back to my old ways. It's too painful....the memories, not the ass eating.