Seriously -- how the fuck is this "fried" chicken? Explain for us dummies the deep-frying process that coats the top side of the chicken wing with some revolting grease-and-red-food-coloring baste while leaving the underside the same sickly grey color as it started (these chicken wings must be past their sell-by date), while the tips of the wings somehow are charred black.

Has this man never been to a Church's Fried Chicken?