Funny you should mention my ass. My anus rescued me from poverty.
I invented the "Inner-City-Enema and Check Cashing" franchise.
It made me rich and now my anus sparkles*

You go in to a location and walk up to window one. That window cashes your paycheck or converts your foodstamps to usable currency.
Then you proceed to window two. Here you receive a warm green-tea with lemon enema
Next is window three where you receive a cigarette.
If you want to get really fucked you can get a payday loan at window four.
I have locations in four states!