this has strong potential to go very sideways on you. might as well just put on the wetsuit now and jump in the tank with shamu- "here, beat you to it" because that's where it's headed.

on that note i've decided to give you the greatest gift a man can give a woman and the latest fashion accessory: a child. i’ve always sensed you needed something more. before you start breathin heavy i don't mean making the sweetest love. i'm talking haitian. my friend's in one of these church groups- kidnappers for jesus and they got one of the little fuckers out just in time.

let me know when you're ready and they can drop him off somewhere, maybe glendale. right now they're watching him fold laundry, which sounds about like enjoying wheelchair basketball for all the wrong reasons, and this too could be yours.