In case you missed the opening to the Olympics, I have listed the impressions I had having during my viewing.
They may act as a summary for you:
I am older than the Maple Leaf Flag.
There are sluts in the Mounties. But, I think they only do G/G.
How long until our country does the anthem in English and Spanish?
Monstar could be Native Canadian.
Canadian Indian dancing isn't anything when compared to Bollywood Indian dancing.
The Governor General of Canada is Haitian. And, I think a tranny.
The NYC metropolitan area has about 1/2 the population of Canada.
Albania has an athlete at these games.
Algeria has an athlete at these games.
Andorra & Liechtenstein have SIX EACH!!
So does the ENTIRE continent of Africa.
No South American country has ever won an Olympic medal.
I blame Evita Peron.
The flag bearer for Australia was named Torah Bright.
I blame Orrin Hatch
Winter Olympic history shows Austria kicks Germany's gaping ass in medals.
Bermuda and the Caymen Islands are countries??
btw, wearing Bermuda shorts is gay. Even if you are from Bermuda.
Oddly, Denmark has only won 1 winter medal.
I blame Hamlet.
The Ethiopian guy is from Colorado.
The Ghana guy is from Scotland.
The Jamacian guy is from California.
Don't these countries have their own black guys??
A luger from Georgia died just before the games.
I blame Stalin.
Jagr carries the Czech flag. Couldn't carry the Rangers.
Hong Kong's athlete is an ugly dog who eats dogs.
I swear I've seen two of Hungary's lady athletes in recent BI flicks.
The Czechs seem to have left their more attractive ladies home.
India: 1.1 billion people, 3 athletes.
Israel: 3 athletes.
I had no idea India was becoming so Jewish.
Ugh! Iranian women are UGLY!!!
They should cover them up entirely.
The one Mexican athlete is European and older than me.
I forget how many speed skating medals Hans Brinker won.
New Zealand seems to be a mix of everything I hate about Australia & California.
Surprised Obama wasn't carrying Norway's flag.
I thought he was their national hero.
The two guys from South Africa are as African as Holly Randall.
Tajikistan's athlete didn't qualify to compete.
When the Ukraine came in I wondered if any of the athletes were related to the guys that raped my great grandmother.
Shaun White might be the ugliest man on Earth.
I hope that Jacobellis has a sex tape in her future.
The Canadian Olympic team is so large it consists of every citizen of the appropriate age.
Canada is French for Canada.
Bryan Adams' knife is dull. It couldn't cut shit.
SooperGrizz seemed to make a cameo, all decked out in Christmas lights.
No Lady GaGa sightings. Thank God.
I would mention the interesting orca whales special effects, but fear an Ava Rose snipe.
Sarah McLachlan's song was an Ordinary Boring Pop POS.
They say part of this was designed while under the influence of Newfoundland Screech.
It showed.
Harlem blacks will never lose tap dancing gigs to white Canadians.
I recall some of these same special effects from when I saw Peter Pan on Broadway as a kid.
You could see the wires then, too.
"Love from Both Sides Now" … isn't that CXXX's anthem??
Donald Sutherland narrated. I thought he died when his career did.
Where was William Shatner?
Did Coke Stevenson cast this thing?
If Shatner were there, I imagine he would have said:
Canada. The final frontier. This is voyage of the nation of Canada.
A two week mission. To go where no Canuck has gone before.
To the gold medal podium at an Olympic Games held in Canada.The "highlight" was some guy they found on "You Tube". No. I am NOT kidding.
Why they didn't pick AntiqueLens to rant is beyond me. Would have been at least interesting.
Could have used a non-sequitur Max rant.
Sample nonsense of his Canadian essence:
"Something that defines us is Please and Thank You."
"Saying zed instead of zee."
"The what in what's new."
Note to NBC: When the guy repeats his boring speech in French, THAT is a great time for a commercial break.KD Lang is looking very Chastity Bono these days. Or whatever "his" name is now.
A direct descendant of Moses' brother Aaron wrote KD's lyrics.
So, Jews and gays seem to run the music industry in Canada, too.
It consisted mostly of one Hebrew word over and over and over.
Tritone's sister is an opera singer. I wonder if she's done Wagner??
Anne Murray? A lady astronaut? The Rwanda clown? Donald Sutherland?
Of Canada's top 8, I only really agree with Bobby Orr.
I don't think the moment of silence is going to convince the Georgian's family not to sue the Olympic Committee.
Ugh. They dragged out that über-annoying "the man in motion" mope.
The biannual commemoration of Joseph Goebbels culminated with a mechanical malfunction of the fourth part of the burning swastika.
I blame Israel.
[If that had happened two years ago in China, someone's family would be paying for the bullet that executed their loved one.]
I credited Steve Nash with an assist when Gretzky lit the lamp one last time.
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