all else fails, just grab a bottle of his favorite booze, pour the drinks, calmly tell him you "made reservations" and when he asks "where" you can casually point between your legs, tilting your head ever so slightly. he'll be so relieved that you aren't dragging him to the obligatory "dinner out"- that you aren't feeding his manhood, his soul, his every happy memory of early childhood right into an angry whirling Cuisinart, he may just "relieve" himself right there. bottom line, shunning convention is the greatest gift you can give a man on this darkest of days. its really not that complicated.

This is was poetry. And I think I'm going to do it. With the Chivas suggestion.
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"Nothing is more exhilarating than philistine vulgarity." -Nabokov "I am a very stylish girl." -Patricia Neal, Breakfast at Tiffany's