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#476126 - 02/12/10 07:41 AM Serious responses only plz...Vday help
chilled_stoli Offline
Rob Black's Crack Pipe

Registered: 10/02/09
Posts: 57
I can't believe I'm doing this on a porn blog, but I dont know where else to go, because I can't get real responses from anyone.

So it's my first year of wedded bliss and I've never contributed to Valentine's Day before, maybe I've given a VDay blow job, I dunno. But seriously. Husband always does nice stuff for me on Valentine's Day, champagne, dinner, jewlery, but I cannot, for the life of me, think of anything to do for him. Please advise. I know men don't care about Valentine's Day, but do you guys really expect something in return?

Things he seems to like:

-tailored shirts
-blow jobs
-Stella Artois
-scotch, pref 18-year
-politics
-video games


_________________________
"Nothing is more exhilarating than philistine vulgarity." -Nabokov "I am a very stylish girl." -Patricia Neal, Breakfast at Tiffany's

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#476127 - 02/12/10 07:52 AM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
inebriated kiwi Offline
Internet Tough Guy

Registered: 12/25/08
Posts: 843
Loc: Sydney Australia
Get him a hooker.

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#476128 - 02/12/10 07:57 AM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
Darrah Ford's ghost Offline
Sex Slave Trader

Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 1321
What's the price range? How about the new iPad or any type of electronics or a new video game whatever?

Buy a large gift basket and fill it with a bit of everything he might like.






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#476129 - 02/12/10 07:57 AM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
Fiend Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
Guys don't really care about Holidays but if you expect them to make an effort for you then you should at least attempt to reciprocate or eventually he'll get tired of the one sided bullshit. Bottles of good booze, imported beer, good cigars, coupons for sex or things that facilitate his hobbies or interest, it will mean even more if its a gift for something that he loves but you dislike or hate.
_________________________
Fap, Fap, Fap

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#476130 - 02/12/10 07:59 AM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
Bluecipher Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 5096
Loc:
get him a nice, expensive tie pin to go with his favorite ties, and 3 bj's a week for the next quarter.
_________________________
-------------------
Mild Mannered Minion
-------------------
I feel the pull on the rope, let me off at the rainbow
-Anyway, Genesis

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#476131 - 02/12/10 07:59 AM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
chilled_stoli Offline
Rob Black's Crack Pipe

Registered: 10/02/09
Posts: 57
Quote:

Get him a hooker.




Done it. I need something new.
_________________________
"Nothing is more exhilarating than philistine vulgarity." -Nabokov "I am a very stylish girl." -Patricia Neal, Breakfast at Tiffany's

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#476132 - 02/12/10 08:49 AM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
99% Fiction Offline
Registered Sex Offender

Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 2401
Seems like a pretty simple mix and match.

Send him out on an errand. When he returns, be wearing nothing more than the shirt you bought him and heels. Take him by the hand to a seat. Scotch and a glass should be waiting for him. Bend over with your ass in his face as you pour the scotch for him. Next, hand him the scotch, and put on his favorite cable news channel. Finally, take his cock out and blow him. If you want to make it kinkier, then wear a collar too and tell him you're his slave for the day, and will blow him as often as he wants.

Fiend is so right about one sided BS.
_________________________
"Guage once told me that there is nothing worse than eaten ass of a black dude thats been huffen drain cleaner the night befor." - delanoojos

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#476133 - 02/12/10 01:58 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
cameronkeys Offline
Gay For Pay

Registered: 12/24/07
Posts: 997
Loc: FL
Quote:

Seems like a pretty simple mix and match.

Send him out on an errand. When he returns, be wearing nothing more than the shirt you bought him and heels. Take him by the hand to a seat. Scotch and a glass should be waiting for him. Bend over with your ass in his face as you pour the scotch for him. Next, hand him the scotch, and put on his favorite cable news channel. Finally, take his cock out and blow him. If you want to make it kinkier, then wear a collar too and tell him you're his slave for the day, and will blow him as often as he wants.

Fiend is so right about one sided BS.




This. Even better if you have a hot friend there too and make it a 3some!
_________________________
myspace.com/pornstarcameronkeys twitter.com/cameronkeys cameronkeys.com

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#476134 - 02/12/10 02:26 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
I was going to say stfu and leave him alone for a day but then you went on to say it's only been one year so you two probably don't hate each other yet. So what Fiend or Nosy said.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#476135 - 02/12/10 03:46 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
John Floofin Offline
Porn Icon

Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
Dirty talk & eye contact whilst blowing!

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#476136 - 02/12/10 03:57 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
freestylah Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 4856
Loc: The 4th International
Quote:

Things he seems to like:

-tailored shirts
-blow jobs
-Stella Artois
-scotch, pref 18-year
-politics
-video games




Put on a shirt, give him a BJ while you shove alternately a bottle of Stella and a bottle of scotch up his ass. (Or both at the same time.) Meanwhile, he can read Fail Stevenson's contributions at XPT or play Super Mario.
_________________________
The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.

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#476137 - 02/12/10 05:05 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
electrostatic Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
Going out out and seeing everyone around kissing and hugging, is irritating as fuck. (esp. when you see them trying too too hard to stand out. Proposing, yuck!) Romantic stuff usually makes me uncomfortable, but Valentine's day just seems forced, the way I imagine a sex schedule would. For some people it seems like that's the day. (So sad.) Like c'mon people, at least try fucking more often than just on a Hallmark holiday. (The way gift giving and receiving should be IMO an any day or everyday thing.) Srsly, I'd be happier thinking everyone is in their houses, often fucking like meth heads.

chilled_stoli, why not get you and husband an 8ball of (insert flavor), see where it goes from there. You wont have to worry about addiction if whatever happens on v-day stays on v-day. (Oh, and its porn forum, doll. )







Lou said:
Quote:

I was going to say stfu and leave him alone for a day but then you went on to say it's only been one year so you two probably don't hate each other yet.



Some people have the ability to fall in love with a person's honesty and blue eyes, it doesn't mean they have to love the person for who they are. Just sayin'.
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend

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#476138 - 02/12/10 05:44 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
XPT RIP Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 03/05/07
Posts: 529


chivas has a really tasty 18 year old scotch. i've been very happy to receive it as a gift.

you could also give up anal. if you do that already, then let him go ass to mouth on you, and swallow of course.

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#476139 - 02/12/10 06:49 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
GUAPO Offline
Pervert

Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 2204
give your nigga a one day pass to knock the shit outta you for all the fucked up shit he has to deal with just to have your worthless self as his wife.

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#476140 - 02/12/10 08:18 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified







Quote:


Lou said:
Quote:

I was going to say stfu and leave him alone for a day but then you went on to say it's only been one year so you two probably don't hate each other yet.



Some people have the ability to fall in love with a person's honesty and blue eyes, it doesn't mean they have to love the person for who they are. Just sayin'.




I'm going to drink enough tonight to not remember reading that and leave a note in my wallet to visit this thread on Sunday...
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#476141 - 02/12/10 10:22 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
Uncle Joe Offline
Tranny Whisperer
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/02/03
Posts: 9221
Quote:

I can't believe I'm doing this on a porn blog, but I dont know where else to go, because I can't get real responses from anyone.

So it's my first year of wedded bliss and I've never contributed to Valentine's Day before, maybe I've given a VDay blow job, I dunno. But seriously. Husband always does nice stuff for me on Valentine's Day, champagne, dinner, jewlery, but I cannot, for the life of me, think of anything to do for him. Please advise. I know men don't care about Valentine's Day, but do you guys really expect something in return?

Things he seems to like:

-tailored shirts
-blow jobs
-Stella Artois
-scotch, pref 18-year
-politics
-video games






Take a dump and then an enema.

Top
#476142 - 02/12/10 11:54 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
Mark_J Offline
Pervert

Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 2058
Quote:

I can't believe I'm doing this on a porn blog, but I dont know where else to go, because I can't get real responses from anyone.




real? here's real. the key on v-day is looking him in the eyes, telling him you were so lucky to find the three-hour extended cut of Twilight for the evening's viewing, and keeping a straight face. the moment his eyes start to look glassy and dead, you press a gun in his hand, tell him to walk out the front door and come back in 10, and you'll be in the bedroom, "waiting."

now, a lot of people are quick to dismiss gunplay - that it "crosses a line", but despite misconceptions, it can be wholesome fun, it can bring two people closer together, especially if it involves a video camera. intimacy comes in many forms, and nothing spells 'I Love You' like F-E-A-R, an aphrodisiac so powerful and so exceptional, it should be classified a narcotic- a schedule 1 controlled substance. just ask charlie sheen's wife. or tori amos- she's probably out there right now, prowling around, fiending.

all else fails, just grab a bottle of his favorite booze, pour the drinks, calmly tell him you "made reservations" and when he asks "where" you can casually point between your legs, tilting your head ever so slightly. he'll be so relieved that you aren't dragging him to the obligatory "dinner out"- that you aren't feeding his manhood, his soul, his every happy memory of early childhood right into an angry whirling Cuisinart, he may just "relieve" himself right there.

bottom line, shunning convention is the greatest gift you can give a man on this darkest of days. its really not that complicated.

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#476143 - 02/13/10 03:46 AM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
Anonymous
Unregistered


anal

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#476144 - 02/13/10 12:46 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
chilled_stoli Offline
Rob Black's Crack Pipe

Registered: 10/02/09
Posts: 57
all else fails, just grab a bottle of his favorite booze, pour the drinks, calmly tell him you "made reservations" and when he asks "where" you can casually point between your legs, tilting your head ever so slightly. he'll be so relieved that you aren't dragging him to the obligatory "dinner out"- that you aren't feeding his manhood, his soul, his every happy memory of early childhood right into an angry whirling Cuisinart, he may just "relieve" himself right there. bottom line, shunning convention is the greatest gift you can give a man on this darkest of days. its really not that complicated.

This is was poetry. And I think I'm going to do it. With the Chivas suggestion.
_________________________
"Nothing is more exhilarating than philistine vulgarity." -Nabokov "I am a very stylish girl." -Patricia Neal, Breakfast at Tiffany's

Top
#476145 - 02/13/10 01:23 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
Coke banned by Monkey Offline
Whoremaster

Registered: 06/22/07
Posts: 2656
Loc: Polekatz, Rte 43
I agree with Cameron Keys. The best gift is bringing home a hot friend for a threesome.
_________________________
"You have been banned from making any new posts or sending private messages. The reason for this ban is: meh, cause i can"

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#476146 - 02/13/10 01:30 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
chilled_stoli Offline
Rob Black's Crack Pipe

Registered: 10/02/09
Posts: 57
Quote:

I agree with Cameron Keys. The best gift is bringing home a hot friend for a threesome.




I'm not a girl who can fuck her female friend. Male, yes. :P
_________________________
"Nothing is more exhilarating than philistine vulgarity." -Nabokov "I am a very stylish girl." -Patricia Neal, Breakfast at Tiffany's

Top
#476147 - 02/13/10 01:40 PM Re: Serious responses only plz...Vday help
John Floofin Offline
Porn Icon

Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
We all have room for improvement.

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