So I'm cooking chili an hour ago and an old friend dropped by with some beer. I minced up a can of whole chipotles in tomato sauce, added it to the pot then we went out back to smoke a blunt.

Came back in and my golden retriever had gone up on the counter and licked the cutting board clean. When I found him he was in the living room licking his balls. The next few hours are going to very amusing for me.