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#475895 - 02/10/10 01:28 PM
My dog just fucked himself
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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So I'm cooking chili an hour ago and an old friend dropped by with some beer. I minced up a can of whole chipotles in tomato sauce, added it to the pot then we went out back to smoke a blunt.
Came back in and my golden retriever had gone up on the counter and licked the cutting board clean. When I found him he was in the living room licking his balls. The next few hours are going to very amusing for me.
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There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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#475897 - 02/10/10 01:37 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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Dude, this ain't a troll. This is happening now.
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There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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#475899 - 02/10/10 02:05 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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True, but I can feel his pain. Ever get a blowjob after your woman has eaten Indian food? It's an imminent burn that comes from far away and leaves you almost paralyzed.
Right now he's out in the backyard scooting his stuff along the snow.
_________________________
There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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#475900 - 02/10/10 02:12 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Not as painful or interesting, but we had a dog as a kid and she would suffer for hours trying to remove peanut butter from her tongue whipping it willy-nilly, shaking her head about and twisting her short torso to and fro. But, it NEVER stopped her from wanting more even DURING said suffering.
It used to make my brother and I HOWL!! My mom, not so much.
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Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#475901 - 02/10/10 02:30 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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I knew a girl who used to jack off her dog with a sock. What the fuck what she thinking? Like reaaallly. She said he was "lonely". I only asked once.
I haven't seen her since. The cherry on top is that she was preggers the during the inter-species erotica. Kid must be about 4 now. I wonder what hap-- *stops thinking*
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"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#475904 - 02/10/10 03:52 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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What kind of sausage?
Italian, huh?
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#475905 - 02/10/10 03:59 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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Nevermind what kind of sausage. You should get your friend the dogwhacker to post here.
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There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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#475907 - 02/10/10 07:47 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/11/06
Posts: 5287
Loc: Anchorage, Alaska
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Quote:
When I was a kid I used to tie a piece of sausage to my top of my dog's head.
We had a Rottweiler that was so obedient, we would occasionally put a piece of steak on his head and tell him to "Stay" and he would sit there without moving until we told him to "Get it!" Then he'd flip it up in the air and snatch it up.
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"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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#475909 - 02/12/10 02:00 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 12/24/07
Posts: 997
Loc: FL
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He shouldnt have balls. Be responsible and have him neutered douchebag. And bathe him. Watching a dog in pain is not funny. Makes me want to shove a scotch bonnet up your ass and sew it shut.
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#475911 - 02/12/10 03:40 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 4856
Loc: The 4th International
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cammeroon: Quote:
He shouldnt have balls. Be responsible and have him neutered douchebag. And bathe him. Watching a dog in pain is not funny. Makes me want to shove a scotch bonnet up your ass and sew it shut.
Somebody should rip out your reproductive organs make sure you won't spawn. And while they're at it, they should castrate your cuckold-hubby.
A good-old post-natal abortion of everything related to you would be too much to ask, I'm afraid?
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The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.
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#475914 - 02/13/10 11:45 AM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Gag Factor Guru
Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 5290
Loc: Dayton
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Cameron, I like your posts and your look, and I share your passion for animal welfare. I belong to the local Humane Society and my dog came from there.
But, I think you're over the top here. You don't know Handful or his dog. These wonderful creatures share their lives with us, and some of the hilarious shit they do is one of the best parts of it. His dog was a bit uncomfortable from something it did to itself, and it was a riot, I'm sure. I've spent many conversations relating similar things as teller and listener of goofy pet stories.
There are responsible breeders. They should not be lumped all together, any more than comparing you to the corner crack whore would be fair. Again, you don't know. Here in Ohio, someone who can breed and train certain types of hunting dogs is not in any type of a league with puppy mill criminals.
I don't think you should attack someone for sharing an animal blooper, or being a (possibly responsible) breeder.
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#475915 - 02/13/10 03:38 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 4856
Loc: The 4th International
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Chuck, I admire your patience and confidence in other human(?) beings to grasp a somewhat balanced view on things, but I think it's rather pointless to try to explain some of these things to cammeroon.
She is simply too ignorant and unintelligent to handle nuances in any given matter, let alone to look at other people's points of view from a different perspective.
Pearls and swines, Chuck.
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The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.
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#475916 - 02/13/10 06:15 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 12/24/07
Posts: 997
Loc: FL
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Quote:
Cameron, I like your posts and your look, and I share your passion for animal welfare. I belong to the local Humane Society and my dog came from there.
But, I think you're over the top here. You don't know Handful or his dog. These wonderful creatures share their lives with us, and some of the hilarious shit they do is one of the best parts of it. His dog was a bit uncomfortable from something it did to itself, and it was a riot, I'm sure. I've spent many conversations relating similar things as teller and listener of goofy pet stories.
There are responsible breeders. They should not be lumped all together, any more than comparing you to the corner crack whore would be fair. Again, you don't know. Here in Ohio, someone who can breed and train certain types of hunting dogs is not in any type of a league with puppy mill criminals.
I don't think you should attack someone for sharing an animal blooper, or being a (possibly responsible) breeder.
I agree, but the fact is there are relatively few responsible breeders out there. And its not really a long shot to say that he's prob not one of them. Backyard or hobbyist breeders, along with plain ignorant & irresponsible people, make my (and all rescuers)jobs that much harder. Not to mention contributing to the deaths of millions every year. So sorry, but I just don't find that, or laughing over an animals pain, amusing.
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#475917 - 02/13/10 11:42 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Gag Factor Guru
Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 5290
Loc: Dayton
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Attachments
470492-ck.jpg (9 downloads)
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#475919 - 02/14/10 12:38 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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@
Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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I like Cameron so I have nothing bad to say here. Sure it's funny if you think about it that she has an argument about breeding but she means well in the end. Whatev.
Handful, that was a fucken funny story. Our black lab has eaten everything from an entire loaf of bread(paper and all) to an uncooked 2lb. pork roast. Like Fatty said.."it's what they do".
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i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#475921 - 02/14/10 03:50 PM
Re: My dog just fucked himself
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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I have no problem with her either. Don't really know who she is. Other than:
- she jumped to the conclusion that I'm running a puppy mill.
- she threatened/suggested I commnit suicide.
- Never once entertained the thought that I, too, have volunteered for rescue shelters and may very well be a licensed breeder with a dry sense of humour.
- She called me a douchebag and redneck, and a couple of other things which, I think, were meant to hurt.
In all fairness, Ive tried sitting through her four available scenes. They are unwatchable. If and when I come across them on the B-side of an 8hr dvd, I will fast forward and think about her husband comping free drinks while she arranges some work after hours, just to get through another day.
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There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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