CATEGORY: "The Definition Of A C-U-N-.....Apparently I'm Not Allowed....A C-Word. How's That?"

Do you know what is in that picture down there? You don't? That's called a c-u-....It's called a you know what. It's called a c-word, is what it's called. It's also my girlfriend’s mother, Debbie Denton.

“Oh, Jesus.”


I moved in with her daughter Sheila when Sheila had just divorced. She was 36. Not 17. Not 16. She was 36 and the last I checked that's legal in the sovereign state of California so that thing in the picture can shut the clean-out under it's nose. But it doesn't. Let me tell you what a cun....God, I wish I could say it. Let me tell you what a c-u-n-(and the next letter rhymes with "P") is. It's a woman that starts a problem when no problem needed to be started. When everything was fine, nice and calm, it walked into the house and gave you that look. When everyone was getting along, it decided it would open old wounds. See, the C thinks it's 'clearing up old business," "getting to it," "not hiding from the truth." But a C never does get to the truth.

Under the guise of wanting to get to the truth the C just wants to see you bleed from the eyes again. It wants to go over and over and over the night...oh I don't know...let's say the night It’s daughter lay passed out nude exposing a usable orifice or two to The Worst Man In The World, the guy It calls "Perv" because that word helps make it laugh and keeps the muscles in its face from atrophy, grabbed Sheila from the couch and took off.

About 20 minutes later, when it was driving away with Sheila and the long suffering, stooped and beaten chew-toy it calls a husband, It calls me. “Real class act” it snarls. Hangs up.

Ever since that night, I've had to listen to it. Typical night. Phone rings. Me: "Hello" The C: "Oh, hi Perv. Can I talk to OFS?" "OFS" stands for "operation: field slut." So, I'm a pervert but It's own daughter is a field slut because it married...and then met me. There's a 23 year age difference. So what? What if I was laying it to the C instead? She's closer to my age. Why not? Well, I would have but Debbie, instead of being OFS is OTF and that interferes with setting up OPT. There, try figuring that out Deb. Thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up, And howl'st to find it.

Glossary
OTF--Operation: Trucked Face
OPT--Operation: Poontang