CATEGORY: Birthdays and Anniversaries

Last week I'll tell you what i got my old lady for her birthday, I got her the gardening clogs and I got her forty feet of garden hose and she was wet for three days. Sheila is a specimen in her "sophisticated late thirties," a single mother with more issues than a comic book store and the classic cougar-esque body that includes state of the art double B breasts and a hairstyle like one of those mid-neck dutchboy numbers, which is fine, you know, but I will motion her toward one of the wigs now and again.

Sheila in her natural habitat, folks. Just disgraceful enough (let's keep it that way). You never want to be so arrogant as to let this stuff decay into madness. Granted, is it always a good idea to tell women "you look nice?" When does the lying end? Yes and no, mostly no except under these circumstances: