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#465775 - 12/15/09 11:32 AM
XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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Yeah, you're probably thinking that it's Monks, but for once let's focus on the greats. Whoever they were. I heard this board used to be awesome, once upon a time and I'm sure the trolls who were masters of their craft were a huge part of it. So who do YOU think is XPT's Ultimate Master Troll of ALL TIME?
My money's on Masaharu Morimoto and 60 pounds of Branzino.
Allez Cuisine!
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#465776 - 12/15/09 11:35 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 01/26/06
Posts: 1058
Loc: Keen for Peen
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Ben
_________________________
Even though Brian Pumper sometimes tries to act like he is hardcore thug-rapper, I can tell that underneath he is a considerate, respectful guy. -tritone
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#465777 - 12/15/09 11:36 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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#465778 - 12/15/09 11:40 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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#465779 - 12/15/09 12:13 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Pervert
Registered: 12/26/07
Posts: 2056
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jamesn
_________________________
"If you keep making fun of me, I might just get pissed and not post on here anymore. Start taking me seriously. I'm a student now" Fatja
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#465781 - 12/15/09 12:32 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 1321
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Quote:
Yeah, you're probably thinking that it's Monks, but for once let's focus on the greats. Whoever they were. I heard this board used to be awesome, once upon a time and I'm sure the trolls who were masters of their craft were a huge part of it. So who do YOU think is XPT's Ultimate Master Troll of ALL TIME?
My money's on Masaharu Morimoto and 60 pounds of Branzino.
Allez Cuisine!
You? 
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#465782 - 12/15/09 12:32 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Pervert
Registered: 12/26/07
Posts: 2056
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Bornyo, definitely.
_________________________
"If you keep making fun of me, I might just get pissed and not post on here anymore. Start taking me seriously. I'm a student now" Fatja
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#465784 - 12/15/09 12:35 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Great... here we go.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#465786 - 12/15/09 12:38 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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YES! so does.
@ Lou, where are you and them going?
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#465787 - 12/15/09 12:43 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Pervert
Registered: 12/26/07
Posts: 2056
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^You need to lay off the drugs, kiddo.
_________________________
"If you keep making fun of me, I might just get pissed and not post on here anymore. Start taking me seriously. I'm a student now" Fatja
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#465790 - 12/15/09 01:27 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Vote- Jamesn. Bornyo and Conky did some great fucken werk in a few of those Gardenweb threads though so honorable mention to those two. Quote:
hellz 2 the no!. My momma didn't raise no quitter, bitch.
Is this^ oK, or do you prefer defensive and full of guilt? Let me know, thanks.
You're right.. no one likes a quitter and don't worry about
what he thinks.. defensive and full of guilt is no fun.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#465791 - 12/15/09 01:51 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 2401
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Electro is much more likely to be a cutter than a quitter.
_________________________
"Guage once told me that there is nothing worse than eaten ass of a black dude thats been huffen drain cleaner the night befor." - delanoojos
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#465792 - 12/15/09 01:53 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Don't let her do it Nosy... Vote.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#465793 - 12/15/09 05:12 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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In addition to those already mentioned, I submit ChickenMaster ... in between retirements.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#465794 - 12/15/09 05:15 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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+1
CM definitely deserves mention. All in all it was more of a group thing.
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#465795 - 12/15/09 05:21 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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Palmolive?
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#465797 - 12/15/09 06:54 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 01/12/06
Posts: 251
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i get the feeling that Coke Stevenson was a good troll.
_________________________
"I always find it funny when chicks say that, because I hate sex but I still have it. Afterwards, I hate myself, I feel awful, dirty and sometimes cry. But it's worth it, if only to feel a little human every now and then."
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#465798 - 12/15/09 07:00 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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Fiend
Panzie
Jiraiya
*L*G*
and Jig?
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#465799 - 12/15/09 07:57 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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El G was my first choice but someone  said no Monkey.. so ya.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#465800 - 12/15/09 07:59 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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Monks in back in. But they have to be numbered 1-3. example: "Smelly Monkey #1"
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#465803 - 12/15/09 08:12 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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oh and I forgot to say I only like the flirty Monkey and the brother Monkey, the other, other Monkey is a major douche.
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#465804 - 12/15/09 08:17 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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So you like that Monkey but not this one?
Today's Monkey will be yesterday's Monkey tomorrow.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#465805 - 12/15/09 08:25 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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This thread is swerving towards favorite XPT poster territory rather than best troll. The best posters here "back in the day" fed off each other, as Have2Cit said. There was a combination of posters back then that included Jeff Steward, Monkey, Kami, jamesn, Smiling Arab, Sportswami, Phatboy, Chico, Padover, Zenman, Have2cit, Monstar and many others that won't be repeated. I think some of the newer people may feel the same about their contemporaries but it still won't be the same for us old farts. That's not a bad thing just the way it works.
As to the OP- Monkey is the best troll on this board, bar none. There is no comparison. His Marc Wallace post should be in the hall of fame for all the internets.
Another thing missing here lately is Luke Ford stopped writing about porn. I think the Cindy Loftus/Darrah experiment has proven that Luke has a certain talent that can't be duplicated or carried forward. The dude is a good writer and us old-schoolers did a certain amount of homework to make informed posts about porn that we thought Luke might pick up on, expand on, and get us some notoriety. That's definitely missing around here lately and frankly I don't see it coming back.
There is no porn site feared for breaking the ugly news out there now of days.
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#465806 - 12/15/09 08:55 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 1321
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Quote:
I think the Cindy Loftus/Darrah experiment has proven that Luke has a certain talent that can't be duplicated or carried forward.
Do you animals still think Darrah is all three? That as someone once said, Darrah is Luke's haha to the porn world?? For fuck sakes!! She's had the blog for two fucking years now! She's no one else but herself!! Fuck you and anyone else that still thinks Darrah is Luke and Cindi!!
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#465807 - 12/15/09 09:16 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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I'd only let Bornyo cum in my mouth and on my face if he promised to pull hard on my pigtails and allowed me to call him "uncle B." everytime his balls hit my chin. LoL.
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#465808 - 12/15/09 09:17 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 09/19/05
Posts: 3576
Loc: Baltimore, MD
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Not into conspiracy theories. Darrah is just Darrah IMO, but wouldn't Darrah be happier if she stopped worrying so much about the opinions of perverts. BTW, I saw a gray fox tonight, and the reflection her/his green eyes in my car's headlights were luminous.
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#465809 - 12/15/09 09:36 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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Who the fuck cares who used to post back in 1983 that had a good zinger on one post and never posted anything ever again.
What is this, a fucking retirement community or a porn board?
_________________________
--Some of us look for The Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
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#465810 - 12/15/09 10:35 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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You're outta line, Mister.
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#465811 - 12/15/09 10:55 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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Am I?  Just wanted to see if anybody really knew what a troll was since it clearly has a different meaning on XPT than it does on the rest of the internet.
_________________________
--Some of us look for The Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
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#465813 - 12/16/09 06:13 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 4468
Loc: Great America
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Quote:
Fiend
Panzie
Jiraiya
*L*G*
and Jig?
why me?
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#465814 - 12/16/09 06:21 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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that definition is why I said monkey is xpts best.
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#465816 - 12/16/09 10:48 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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There is only one Master Troll: Alex Panzer.
The only questions are if he knows he is being a troll and is he doing it intentionally or not.
_________________________
--Some of us look for The Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
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#465817 - 12/16/09 11:06 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
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XPT has mostly TFADs rather than full fledged trolls.
_________________________
Fap, Fap, Fap
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#465818 - 12/16/09 02:51 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Jamesn is a good troll- you can see examples of his work at gardenweb which are referenced here. Smiling Arab is a good troll but he didn't do much trolling on this board except when he posted as the black porn actor for that brief stretch. WillieD is a good troll too, and I've seen him work on some sports boards and maybe a few other places. I've done some decent work on the nc youth soccer boards and various sports boards, as well as gardenweb along with jamesn.
I guess my point is that these people are good trolls but they don't troll here. Monkey trolls here and used to troll some other places pretty well, too.
The poster one or two above this point makes a good point about Panzer. My opinion is that he has no fucking clue.
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#465819 - 12/16/09 03:28 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
Quote:
I think the Cindy Loftus/Darrah experiment has proven that Luke has a certain talent that can't be duplicated or carried forward.
Do you animals still think Darrah is all three? That as someone once said, Darrah is Luke's haha to the porn world?? For fuck sakes!! She's had the blog for two fucking years now! She's no one else but herself!! Fuck you and anyone else that still thinks Darrah is Luke and Cindi!!
You are about as dumb as a box of rocks. NO ONE thinks you or Cindi are Luke Ford.
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#465820 - 12/16/09 05:07 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 1321
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Quote:
NO ONE thinks you or Cindi are Luke Ford.
Darrah has many times been accused of being Luke Ford and his goodbye gift to the porn industry. She has also been accused of being Cindi too.
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#465821 - 12/16/09 07:09 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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She also cannot discern serious conspiratorial accusations from playful sarcastic banter. Just sayin' ...
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#465823 - 12/16/09 07:27 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Just give her a stfu and then a gtfo Fatty... Simple as.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#465827 - 12/16/09 07:53 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Yes, by definition Static is a pretty good troll in her own right if the playground is confined to xpt. And of course that is the response she sought.
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#465828 - 12/16/09 08:04 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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If you change "playground" to "sandbox" then she is Queen and Panzer is of course a cat turd. I like that actually.
I'm calling it a WIN.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#465830 - 12/17/09 03:25 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Quote:
Quote:
NO ONE thinks you or Cindi are Luke Ford.
Darrah has many times been accused of being Luke Ford and his goodbye gift to the porn industry. She has also been accused of being Cindi too.
Why are you speaking in the 3rd person, Cindy Ford?
Quote:
If you change "playground" to "sandbox" then she is Queen and Panzer is of course a cat turd. I like that actually.
I was thinking Panzer was more like diaper shit, or enema residue?
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#465831 - 12/17/09 06:49 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 1321
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Quote:
Nah. I actually like her. I'm intrigued how someone of her ilk never quite "gets it."
And which ilk do I fall into? 
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#465834 - 12/17/09 07:54 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 1321
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Quote:
Several species of "ilk". Writer/Reporter/Sensationalist/Celeb Gossip. Take your pick.
My experience with most is that they are often edge sharp and uber street smart seeing the play several moves ahead. NOT, for example, having to have an entire community explain things over and over to the one person who doesn't get it.
I've lived a sheltered life?
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#465837 - 12/20/09 05:17 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Thank you Bornyo, he is right, its me and its not even close, im the best, the best that ever did it, the best that will ever do it, fin.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#465838 - 12/20/09 05:27 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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[singing "Queen"]
No time for losers for he is the Champion ... of the Trolls.
[/singing "Queen"]
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#465840 - 12/21/09 08:32 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Sarcasm Master
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/11/06
Posts: 5287
Loc: Anchorage, Alaska
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Quote:
I've lived a shattered lie.
_________________________
"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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#465844 - 01/02/10 10:26 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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That poster is actually thinking of Denverdon- who did die in a car crash.
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#465845 - 01/08/10 03:37 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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#518727 - 05/18/11 12:26 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: electrostatic]
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 258
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Lloyd Kaufman has potential.
_________________________
"You know your girl's a slut when she's doing the two-hand, twisty-turny." -Gia Jordan
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#519139 - 05/24/11 03:15 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: ]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Top 5 in XPT history
1. Electro: Worked the angle perfectly, drove key members nuts (willie,etc) while staying onside with enough of the others to hang around
2. Tritone: Plays the straight man so well that the funny men aren't even aware of their part in the duo.
3. Ben: Never seen him break character, one trickish but he plays the trick to perfection.
4. garfield: built from scratch, meatheat homophobe from nj, solid addition to the list
5. guapo: Would've been higher if he didnt break character, but his ghetto persona was belly bustingly hilarious.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#519146 - 05/24/11 05:41 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: electrostatic]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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I'm going to have to boot Garfield [whom I don't recall] and Guapo [whom I just never found funny] and replace with:
Moblem: Another one-trick pony who loved to beat a dead wHorse.
Charles Barkley: Short-lived and mostly focused on taking out one or two particular posters, but was unequivocally successful in his/her commando mission.
Though, initially via alt, you did pretty well yourself, taking out Chico and Monstar in one flush.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#519163 - 05/24/11 05:46 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: Uomo Grassissimo!!]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Charles Barkley: Short-lived and mostly focused on taking out one or two particular posters, but was unequivocally successful in his/her commando mission.
Wasn't that one of Cassandra's alts?
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#519172 - 05/24/11 06:47 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: electrostatic]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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What's a Cassandra?
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#519204 - 05/25/11 05:21 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: Uomo Grassissimo!!]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Do you know what a Tierney is?
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#519208 - 05/25/11 09:03 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: electrostatic]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
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To some on here that's just as good as a tyranny ! And here's Cassandra on Ajax which is nothing similar to Stratford on Avon. 
Edited by backdoorman (05/25/11 09:04 AM)
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I may not know arse but I know what I like !
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#519209 - 05/25/11 09:05 AM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: electrostatic]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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The last name of my junior-high gym teacher who made me run laps because my uniform got smoke-damaged when my house burnt down?
You should know I've been subjected to special mind rays that may have erased any such knowledge as it may relate to XPT. Like a reversible elective selective lobotomy.
So, if say two girls met with Jeff at the AVN just before I signed up here, and if round-mound-of-rebound of the two may have performed unspeakable acts upon the dearly departed ChickenMaster, I would never be able to know, process or remember any of that. Such is the sad state of my being.
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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#519218 - 05/25/11 02:14 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: electrostatic]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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It was the unspeakable acts visited upon the dearly departed Phlog you were referring to. Do you remember those?
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#519237 - 05/25/11 04:25 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: electrostatic]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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I recall Charles emasculating Phlog to the delight of the arena.
It's things directly involving this "Cassandra" of which I have no recollection.
The only Cassandra I recall is cute princess no one believed and the one Ajax raped. [though I might be buying into Agamemnon's propaganda on that last point].
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#519241 - 05/25/11 05:21 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: electrostatic]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
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With a name like Agamemnon why would he lie ?
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I may not know arse but I know what I like !
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#519245 - 05/25/11 05:26 PM
Re: XPT's Ultimate Master Troll.
[Re: electrostatic]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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I tend not to trust guys who sacrifice their own daughters.
But, I admit, that's my own pet peeve.
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