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#46568 - 08/15/04 04:47 AM Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
Thats it , no more mr nice monkey. I have become soft and although i can't go back to the once jaded monkey ( my best era) I will slowly try to work myself back upto as close to that monkey as this monkey will get the monkey, monkey?.

Reading fayners site and he posts crap on barrett blade, which in itself is fucked up, but get this?. The fucking piece of shit has his OWN site, who in the fuck told barrett it was a good idea to get his own web site?. Never the less, i decided to take a peek at it and then i saw the funniest thing i have seen this week. Here it is word for word.

For a free autograph Please send a properly self addressedstamp envelope.

Okay, my question is WHO IN THE FUCK WANTS BARRETT'S AUTOGRAPH?. Really?. Wow, my very own autograph of a limp dick, 2nd rate musian/porn star. Wow i see a whole 50 cent check coming if i decide to list this puppy on ebay.


Down futher on the site theres that taylor rain squirt crap, which shows a close shot of taylor. What in the fuck is wrong with that girl's eyebrows?. I always knew there was something a little off with her (besides the fact she has let fayner and brandon irons fuck her, but more on that later) now i know what it is. She looks like a 67 year old thai trophy wife with those things. Its just wrong, fix em up girl, theres nothing there.



Brandon irons fucking taylor rain, i thought the image of fayner's dick in her mouth or her getting pissed on by three pissmop guys with $10 supermarket shoes was as disturbing as it got, how wrong i was. On a side note the guy with his dick up her ass is monsier, just a little trivia. (notice where brandon's eyes are)

Lastly i know im a little late on this but when i saw it today i couldn't fucking believe it. Mr. Web Review put together a top 50 sexiest porn stars and celebrities list. Its number one pairing was

1. jessica alba (no complaints)
1. Belladonna

Okay. BELLA FUCKING DONNA. Belladonna the sexiest pornstar, i am saying this with a straight face and honesty in my heart, i would rather fuck fayner while collecting my free barrett blade autograph then even expose my penis in the same air within 5 yards of belladonna, how in the fuck did that fugly bucked tooth, horribly tattooed orbit of uselessness get crowned the sexiest pornstar?. Here is the list of the top 50 as well.


Celebrities Adult Entertainers



50. Vida Guerra

50. Avy Scott



49. Kelly Tilghman

49. Veronica Zemanova



48. Gabrielle Union

48. Nyomi Marcela and

Jade Marcela



47. Melyssa Ford

47. Sunrise Adams



46. Kristin Kreuk

46. Cyntheria



45. Anastacia

45. Calli Cox



44. Mayte

44. Loni



43. Jolene Blalock

43. Lacey Duvalle



42. Kelly Ripa

42. Juli Ashton



41. Megan Goode

41. Nadine Jensen



40. Christina Milian

40. Aurora Snow



39. Jaime Pressly

39. Ashton Moore



38. Natalie Portman

38. Asia Carrera



37. Joanie Laurer

37. Tera Patrick



36. Kim Cattrall

36. Chloe Jones



35. Shania Twain

35. Briana Banks



34. Tiffani Thiessen

34. Simone



33. Shakira

33. Sinnamon Love



32. Mariah Carey

32. Jana Cova



31. Ali Landry

31. Gina Lynn



30. Jennifer Love Hewitt

30. Amee Donavan



29. Lil' Kim

29. Jesse Jane



28. Christina Aguilera

28. Sophie Evans



27. Angelina Jolie

27. Aria Giovanni



26. Jennifer Garner

26. Olivia D'Lovely



25. Nikki Cox

25. Kaylani Lee



24. Victoria Pratt

24. Crystal Knight



23. Torrie Wilson

23. Briana Banks



22. Kelita Smith

22. Taylor Rain



21. Tamala Jones

21. Nikita Denise



20. Ashanti

20. Katja Kassin



19. Elisha Cuthbert

19. Ayana Angel



18. Anna Kournikova

18. Kendra Jade



17. Tyra Banks

17. Sky Lopez



16. Jennifer Aniston

16. Brittney Skye



15. Serena Williams

15. Taylor Hayes



14. Toni Braxton

14. Tia Bella



13. Lucy Liu

13. Janet Jacme



12. Salma Hayek

12. Kira Kenner



11. Cameron Diaz

11. Dee



10. Beyonce

10. Jenna Jameson



9. Jennifer Lopez

9. Carmen Luvana



8. Elizabeth Hurley

8. Chyna



7. Pamela Anderson

7. Adina Jewel



6. Alyssa Milano

6. Adrianna Sage



5. Carmen Electra

5. Stephanie Swift



4. Janet Jackson

4. Angela Devi



3. Britney Spears

3. Jewel De'Nyle



2. Halle Berry

2. Nautica Thorn



1. Jessica Alba

1. Belladonna



_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

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#46569 - 08/15/04 01:55 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
sportswami Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 06/04/04
Posts: 406
Loc: Boston, MA
You know, I just wish for once Monkey you would get the stones to talk shit to someone face to face instead of hiding behind the screen and giggling like a pimply faced school girl.
In fact I would pay $20 bucks to watch you say that to Belladonna (and then get the shit beaten out of you for saying something stupid.)
Or better yet... get the balls and put up your list of top 50 sexiest women... oops... you don't have the scrotum for that.

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#46570 - 08/15/04 06:16 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
Quote:

You know, I just wish for once Monkey you would get the stones to talk shit to someone face to face instead of hiding behind the screen and giggling like a pimply faced school girl.
In fact I would pay $20 bucks to watch you say that to Belladonna (and then get the shit beaten out of you for saying something stupid.)
Or better yet... get the balls and put up your list of top 50 sexiest women... oops... you don't have the scrotum for that.






Okay swami, i will meet you then. Give me your name, address, tel number, credit card number and the time you are away from your home most often and where you hide the spare keys to the garage of your mother's house that you live at in quincy. I will meet up with you and share these views face to face. (swami's response, silence).
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

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#46571 - 08/15/04 06:18 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
sportswami Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 06/04/04
Posts: 406
Loc: Boston, MA
hey come down to the studio
1431 Hancock Street
Quincy, MA

Cameo Entertainment

(Monkey retreats to his lil cardboard box)

Thought so bitch

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#46572 - 08/15/04 06:20 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
Quote:

hey come down to the studio
1431 Hancock Street
Quincy, MA

Cameo Entertainment

(Monkey retreats to his lil cardboard box)

Thought so bitch





Im going to boston in 3 weeks, so i will stop by. Tough guy.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

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#46573 - 08/15/04 06:22 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
sportswami Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 06/04/04
Posts: 406
Loc: Boston, MA
Thursday from 2-7 I am there... I am beggging you to stop by... but then again... you don't have the scrotum to do so!

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#46574 - 08/15/04 06:23 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
ChickenMaster Offline
Demon Spawn

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 3178
Quote:

Quote:

hey come down to the studio
1431 Hancock Street
Quincy, MA

Cameo Entertainment

(Monkey retreats to his lil cardboard box)

Thought so bitch





Im going to boston in 3 weeks, so i will stop by. Tough guy.




Can one of you take pictures and post it? I want to see the blood.

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#46575 - 08/15/04 06:24 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
Quote:

Thursday from 2-7 I am there... I am beggging you to stop by... but then again... you don't have the scrotum to do so!





Why are you trying to bait a fish you have already caught?. I'm there.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

Top
#46576 - 08/15/04 07:16 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Toelicker Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
This should be good.
_________________________
you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn

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#46577 - 08/15/04 08:27 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
smiling arab Offline
Human Garbage

Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 1683
Quote:

Thursday from 2-7 I am there... I am beggging you to stop by... but then again... you don't have the scrotum to do so!






Attachments
41670-dorquemada.jpg (18 downloads)

_________________________

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#46578 - 08/15/04 08:31 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
LOL smiling arab, i think i wrote the special report for that magazine, have a look. The funniest thing is i have met swami a few times in the past already and he has no idea.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

Top
#46579 - 08/15/04 08:56 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Kami Andrews Offline
Whoremaster

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 2742
that is some funny shit, the mag I mean

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#46580 - 08/16/04 06:18 AM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Toelicker Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
Quote:

LOL smiling arab, i think i wrote the special report for that magazine, have a look. The funniest thing is i have met swami a few times in the past already and he has no idea.




Monkey, I will say that your true ID intrigues me. I'm curious . .. .

I sort of hope you're a chick. That would be hot.

_________________________
you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn

Top
#46581 - 08/16/04 06:20 AM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
Quote:

Monkey, I will say that your true ID intrigues me. I'm curious . .. .

I sort of hope you're a chick. That would be hot.





I was born as one, does that still count, take a trip to brazil come home a different sex. (i think i just pocketed myself a $4 million check for coming up with their new tourism slogan).
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

Top
#46582 - 02/17/06 07:37 AM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
Quote:

hey come down to the studio
1431 Hancock Street
Quincy, MA

Cameo Entertainment

(Monkey retreats to his lil cardboard box)

Thought so bitch





long overdue bump
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

Top
#46583 - 02/17/06 08:56 AM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Jeff Steward Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/14/03
Posts: 7408
Loc: JM Productions
Quote:

Thursday from 2-7 I am there... I am beggging you to stop by... but then again... you don't have the scrotum to do so!




Yes,classic Swami.
_________________________
all women should be victims of something, because they lied. - big moose

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#46584 - 02/17/06 10:05 AM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
*L*G* Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 4468
Loc: Great America
prepare for Gypsy monkey.... LOL

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#46585 - 02/18/06 07:02 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Dick Dastardly Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
WOW, Briana Banks at both 23 and 35, eh? I know those funbags of hers were big...but THAT big? What the fuck?

Jack
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron

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#46586 - 02/18/06 11:17 PM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
Quote:

Yes,classic Swami.






Quote:

prepare for Gypsy monkey.... LOL




_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

Top
#46587 - 02/19/06 05:49 AM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
*L*G* Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 4468
Loc: Great America


Quote:

prepare for Gypsy monkey.... LOL









shes belladona's defender LOL

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#46588 - 02/19/06 06:31 AM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
Smelly Monkey Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
Quote:



Quote:

prepare for Gypsy monkey.... LOL









shes belladona's defender LOL




ohh I didn't bother reading the rant again, i just bumped it based on swami challenging me to a fight.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis

Top
#46589 - 02/19/06 11:13 AM Re: Fucking pissed off Monkey RANT
c62 Offline
Human Garbage

Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 1545
Loc: In the tree outside Gia Jordan...
Quote:


Monkey, I will say that your true ID intrigues me. I'm curious . .. .




I'm not. I want to believe there really is a monkey with a baseball bat on the other end randomly throwing turds at the wall. Its fun to think a primate could rule the porn industry with an iron fist(if SM wanted to rule the industry that is). I never knew Jane Goodall was such a bitch.
_________________________
If cum was concrete, Quasarman would have a four lane freeway going down his throat. - pariah

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