I'd say a hypocrite is either somebody who states certain opinions or beliefs and doesn't act accordingly and / or somebody who claims he has certain qualities and virtues while not actually possessing or having them.

You look down on men who cheat on their wives and commit adultery, yet you have no problem with partaking in the act of adultery with cheating wives. You look down on bankrobbers, yet you have no problem being the escape car driver, so to speak.

I think that you cannot look down on people committing a "crime" while you have - at least - helped other people commit the same "crime".

You look down on cheating men, therefor you're thinking you are better than them, while I believe you have no right to think you're better than them because you've partaken / assisted in in the very acts you denounce / condemn them for. You claim to have a certain quality / virtue (being better than husbands who engage in the act of cheating) as a person while, in my mind, you do NOT have that quality (because you were one half of a "team" who engaged in the act of cheating).

Unless, of course, you deny that calling cheating husbands "weak and low class" and stating that you have "no respect for them" is a denunciation / condemnation. I think it is, but I'm willing to say if it weren't you would not be a hypocrite according to my definition.

But I think you are!

I'd say the core point of disagreement is that you (conveniently) put the burden of responsibility solely on the shoulders of the spouse who is about to engage in the act of cheating. I wholeheartedly disagree with that position and insist that the act of cheating is committed by two people (spouse and "homewrecker") who have a shared responsibility for their deed.

In short:

Your position (as I understand it): You despise men who engage in the act of cheating and you're claiming you have not done the same. You're not being hypocritical.

My position: I'm saying you, too, engaged in the act of cheating, not as the actual cheater but as the cheater's partner / helper/ assistant. You are being hypocritical.