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Ew. What were you doing eating mall food anyway? See, that's the trash you run into and it slows down your shopping. Food court is not a part of my vocabulary.



They didn't have malls where you grew up?

Well we went very early morning, it was snowing out, bitterly cold, bad hair from the snowing hours earlier when I arrived at the mall, and I was cranky. Got my Burger King fries, chicken sandwich, and diet coke. We finally found a table and this wench waddles by me and pushed me to the ground. When I say pushed me to the ground, I don't mean with her hands. No, the near waddling past me by her over-sized shoulders literally knocked me to the ground. She was trying to get to our table! I looked up and screamed what the hell is wrong with you. She crumpled up her Taco Bell taco wrapper and threw it at me. I was so hungry, tired, my feet ached, cranky, and I was cold. With my family near by in shock, I got up and screamed at her "Get the fuck out of our table cunt". The beast wouldn't even look at me after I screamed this. I looked to my right and there were a stack of eating trays nicely stacked. I started throwing them one by one at her and her friends. A few tables near by started assisting me by yelling at these women. It seemed they were so embarrassed and got up and ran off. People started applauding after they left.

I was a hero that day when I got home. But my mother yelled at me to not use profanity again.