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#45923 - 08/12/04 07:51 PM
Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers
This is the first installment of what will be an ongoing report from my journey to the center of meatmembers. I’d like to make it clear from the onset that I’m fully prepared to lose my mind in this maze of sleaze. Heck, I don’t even know where to start, but they say go with what you know. So, after pondering for a moment the bell rang bingo! I remembered that Haley teaser I saw from Frank Wank, Internet pimp. However, the main page offers such a mind-boggling selection and Blowjob Quickies caught my attention first. Just as I quickly found a scene with this hot brunette bitch named Brooke wearing these shiny neon pink stockings, Boing!, the trouser troll told me to halt.
You know, I was a huge fan of the better blowjob-only series out there, but even the best ones are merely hit or miss. All you can really hope for is like 3 or 4 stars you like and stumbling onto a couple of others who raise the phallus. Not to get lost on an oral sex series analysis, but the glaringly obvious point I’d like to make is that web clips like this let you cut right to the chase and just click the ones you want. Forget the rest because time is money, baby! More importantly, time is better served downloading the good stuff like the pov bj clip starring the aformentioned Brooke.
Before I watched the clip, I looked at all the pix in the series and going frame by frame give me a slow-mo stag film feel. You’ know those dirty films on reels that Grandpa Joe had stashed in the attic? Ok, I ‘m starting digress, or is it regress? You just gotta check the great angle on this clip cuz the viewer sees the knees and stockings during the suck. Spash! Won't be stopped now because of the white knuckles because there’s a Mallory Marx facial scene from the seventh heaven of splurk.... to be continued
http://tour.meatmembers.com/2/index1.php
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"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45924 - 08/14/04 12:05 PM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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... In case you wondering about the status of the expedition, I checked out the Mallory Marx scene where her face got a Hulk-sized icy blast of hot muck. I’m talking a goo-spritz of enourmous seed that would’ve required an ice pick to chip off if it hardened. Nice... now I’m off to the Frank Wank zone...
On Day 2, I spent most of the day with Haley and the Super Agent. Well, I think I’ve already made my stance on Haley crystal like meth with all those starry-eyed reviews. Sad isn’t it? Frank Wank on the other hand has got the life. He be straight up pimpin’ da hoes noe frills. I think he spent the most money on his pimp outfit & camera equipment because all the action goes down in some unfurnished condo somewhere. Then again, renting the hoes ain’t cheap, but for a second let’s pretend that he’s a true pimp dogg like he portrays. The guy’s mackin’ and packin’ the poon like he’s in a cartoon sex dream. It truly is worth the chuckle watching him do his thang, but the ass-licking he requires is grody to the max. However, I know there's probably several thousand perverts in webland who find it funny or a turn-on to see these babes willingly submit to a debasing act such as that because the world is the Devil's pulpit... I'm more pleased w/ all the hot babes the Super Agent nails, like Luci & Nyla Thai, Nautica Thorn and August I think. Let me go for now because the more meatmembers I see the more the meatmember's mentality invades my mind....
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"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45925 - 08/15/04 07:24 PM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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...Just spent a day downloading the Super Agent’s Luci Thai series. On my turtle-slow dial-up it was a weird seeing the scenario slowly load up scene by scene giving me ample time to study every frame. Yeah, it’s primitive, but from this perspective I got deeper into cyber porn than ever before. I was glued to the screen for hours just soaking it all in or was I soaking the screen with glue for hours? You decide... Getting back to something I said earlier, if you took a stag film and put it up to the light it’d be the antiquated predecessor of the twenty plus pages o’ frame by frame jpegs in this great set. Overall, I really can’t say enough about Luci Thai’s fantastic bod. To me, her luscious tits are portioned just right atop her tight thick frame always blooming a cute smile. She’s instantly become my all-time fave Asian porn babe, methinks, and thanks to Frank’s POV to the highest powers I really became intimate with all her curvy nuances. When I closed my eyes the images downloaded themselves slowly into my head ceaselessly throughout the day like an inner filmstrip. This neural corona of filthy imagery is a major side effect that makes sites like meatmembers so addictive. I'm nowhere through with www.frankwank.com, but I must push on to bring the good news to the better internet perverts out there...
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45927 - 08/18/04 09:38 AM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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...Am I going off the deep end because I almost think I’ve actually fucked Haley now? Thanks to Frank Wank & Mike John, I know her cooze every which way ‘cept for how it feels on my dilznick, but that’s what an imagination is for right? Since nearly every instant of these scenes were frozen in time for a more intimate inspection by the pervert at home alone, it really boggles my balls. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m cool because I have to resort to cyber carnal knowledge, it’s just cool that it exists for the needs of those who’ll never plunge such a prize pussy. Thanks guys! Next on this list is Alicia Rhodes, but it’s kinda difficult to choose, so using my Jeet Kune Do honed restraint I'll cum back to www.povpervert.com after I get through a few more sites in the myriad of sleaze that is meatmembers. Check in again to see where I end up next because this expedition has gotta continue 'til my eyes fizzle...
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"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45928 - 08/19/04 05:15 PM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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...last night in the bleak hours I found a clip in the www.cockbrutality.com section of meatmembers featuring another fave fuckslot of mine from the past few years. Two devil horns hoisted into the atmosphere for Melanie Jagger, because she just freakin’ rules. She’s gotten thick as a brick shithouse now, but I like that kind of soft plushy bod to pound. This mini-bang by 4 dudes looks as if it was from a little earlier in her career, but who knows...doesn’t matter. I especially love her facial expressions in this set, plus her always good-to-go smile and nummy knockers make me hand go boom...
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"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45929 - 08/19/04 05:51 PM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
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I don't know. The first ttime I saw Melanie Jagger was in one of those Barefoot Confidential movies. It was one of the first pornos I ever bought, and I got it because Taylor Rain is in it.
To say the least, I thought of her as strictly FF material.
I've avoided her every time it's possible since then.
Can you name something in which she is even mildly strokeworthy?
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you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn
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#45931 - 08/19/04 06:30 PM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
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NO! I am talking about Melanie Jagger. That is what my post is about. I just mentioned Taylor to explain why I bought a Barefoot Confidential in the first place. I'm not into Taylor anymore either. It was one of the first pornos I've ever bought. You know, the last two times I've gotten into a discussion with you, you have misunderstood what I'm trying to say. I wonder who's fault it is. Probably mine  . I'm talking about Melanie Jagger. Reread my post.
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you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn
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#45933 - 08/20/04 04:23 AM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 3899
Loc: CO Springs
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Gotcha.
So . . . I was the one who had my head up my ass.
Booger eater booger eater booger eater!
BTW, don't front. We know Taylor is the one you want.
Cue Olivia Newton John: She's the one that he wants, one that he wants . . . ooo, ooo, ooooooo! She's the one that he wants, one that he wants . . . oooo, ooooo, oooooooooooooo . . . . . . . The one he needs . . . . . Oh yes indeeeeed! She's the one that he wants . . . .
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you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn
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#45935 - 08/20/04 07:31 AM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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I don't think anyone could kill this thread- there just seeems to be so much stuff in those site that you would never run out of stuff to review. good job with these reviews dude- if I had more than dial up I would probably join just based upon what you are telling us about Meatmembers
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#45939 - 08/20/04 09:42 AM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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...back on track, I didn’t know what to think when I saw my fave mod Kami get whizzed on in the www.pissmops.com section of the site. Before I witnessed her kneeling beneath the golden arches my interest was piqued when I rolled forward past several other pissers to find the scene in question. There was one chick named Barbi Bucxxx who actually licked the porcelin altar. Yikes, the name says it all! I just hope that it was worth an extra Franklin. So, about the Kami pee shower in a bathtub... what can I say? She took the spray like a lady. I was basically wondering what was going through her mind and if she sees clearly now the acrid rain is gone....
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45940 - 08/20/04 11:06 AM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 12/12/03
Posts: 822
Loc: San Pornando Valley
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she was thinking about sushi i was gonna take her too...LOL
After the pee scene is kinda when we hooked up. I peed in her mouth, then we went out to dinner. Very strange  But very good...LOL
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#45941 - 08/20/04 11:23 AM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 8160
Loc: Roma, Repubblica Italiana
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#45945 - 08/20/04 04:52 PM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 5849
Loc: TX, USA
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Come on, smutmutant's getting a lot of reads, and he still has dozens of gigabytes to go before completing his Journey.
_________________________
"If they can't picture me with a knife, forcing them to strip in an alley, I don't want any part of it. It's humiliating." - windsock
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#45948 - 08/29/04 09:05 AM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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...I needed some cheering up so I figured www.pornjackass.com was the place to go. After getting a few chortles from watching Claire James trash a photocopier and try to blow a black cock the size of a club, I must admit that she has a great body of the kind I adore... The dick she had to work on was ridiculously large and only a mouth as big as Roseanne’s would be able to chuff it. The photcopier baseball is a frustration release probably a zillion secretaries would love to be able to take part in. Me too, cept it’s nicer watching Claire’s juggies jiggle as the bat goes crack. Roxy Hart also goes on a boombox rampage. I guess she thought it was playing Rage Against The Machine.
Being a blowjob sandwich connoisseur I had to check out Cock Roulette with Alaina vs. Sienna. The gist of the deal is something you should be able to figure out all by your lonesome, but in case you’re clueless the two compete to see who’ll get the facial spooge geyser. BTW, it was Alaina if you’re wonderin'. Frankly, I’d have spritzed Sienna’s chops. The next Cock Roulette episode continues the competition w/ Caylee and Brooke as the contestants this time. Thankfully, Caylee got the creamsicle facial here. I gave her a virtual one hand salute. I’d like to see more of these particular segments.
Whoa, Nellie! Little did I know when I rounded the corner I’d get the much needed laff I was hoping for. Damn, it was totally bodacious watching this Vivica chick shoot a bottle rocket out of her ass! Huzzah! I never thought I’d see someone with he guts to do something other than a sparkler...
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45949 - 08/31/04 11:15 PM
Sativa
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 109
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Mr. Poo,
Sativa Is a spoiled whore!!! Khan should've paid her more money so he could've degraded her throu out the entire scene, but you can't have everything.
Still the seen was great as Sativa was so good looking fresh and warped at that time the scene was shot, that even without Khan not being there full-time the scene was hot and had Major Stroke value.
BTW When is Meatholes going to be availble on DVD?
All hail Khan Tusion porns Lord and Dark Master.
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#45951 - 09/03/04 07:41 PM
Re: Sativa
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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...I don’t know, is it degredation if the chick willingly submits albeit for cash? Maybe they don’t care or they have no self esteem inside or are just crazy bitches, but it could be a turn-on for them. I wonder why? It’s like the mystery of chess-boxin’ as a technique and you don’t need to be a psychologist to admit that it get perverts hot. Ask any pervert and he’ll tell you why, but everybody has their own reason for liking it just as the babes each have individual needs to fulfill and unique reactions to the injection inflictions. So, I guess the titty gritty is either you think it’s grim or it makes you grin. Me? I find it a fascinating thing to study as a pornologist...
Now that I’ve bored you with this clinical pablum, time to investigate week #69 which features slutty hottie Sativa. Hey, anybody know if she’s a pothead? Either way the ho blows, she really sparks up my long fuck bong. Hold on, I dropped the lighter...
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45952 - 09/04/04 10:50 AM
Re: Sativa
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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...got it and I’m back on track. Meatholes fans are guaranteed to not drop their johnson while popping rocks to Sativa. There’s the powerfucking and simultaneous throatfucking that you have cum to expect from meatholes in high gear they seemed to take it a little easy on sweet Sativa if that is at all possible. I don’t know if there was anybody home in her mind, but she rides out the rampage with distinction. You know that hooey they say about weed being a gateway drug that eventually leads to harder stuff and that porn desensitizes the viewer over time so that viewer needs more extreme thrills to get off? I say its hogwash! Meatholes isn’t made for everybody, it’s made for a dedicated hardcore following who want this on the groundfloor of their downward spiral into porn. Some people will never understand or get off on this darker level of the game. Speaking of games, this meatmembers expedition is starting to seem like dungeons and dragons where Kahn is the demogorgon of porn. Please bear with me, I haven't played that since the 7th grade, but it seemed like a cool analogy, sorry... 
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45954 - 09/05/04 09:28 AM
Re: Sativa
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 8160
Loc: Roma, Repubblica Italiana
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Those guys looks like two of the biggest reprobates in the SFV.
_________________________
 "All my years in p*rn didn't quite prepare me for childbirth. I mistakenly thought all the stretching I did would make this easier."
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#45955 - 09/08/04 12:01 PM
mining for meatholes
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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…goddamn that meatholes scene with Kerri is fucked up! She gets abused like hell. I’m talking slapped, choked, spat at and fisted. That Luigi looking guy slips his hand into her snatch like it was an oven mitt of flesh or like he was trying to root out a mouse. Another crazy bitch takes part in the onslaught, so I guess that makes everything ok. I’m till trying to figure out what makes a chick into the kind of sad case who actually likes this type of treatment because if she didn’t like it she would’ve stormed off the set never to return. Sound logical? They may never return after enduring the wrath of Kahn, but who cares?…
Attachments
48085-mh_kerri_0206.jpg (229 downloads)
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45960 - 09/08/04 03:04 PM
Re: mining for meatholes
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 12/12/03
Posts: 822
Loc: San Pornando Valley
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Quote:
Hey bud, sorry I missed you when you were in town. I hope you had fun.. 
NP...we will hook up next time. 
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#45969 - 09/21/04 12:10 PM
Re: Journey To The Center Of Meatmembers.com
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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…money is an amazing thing. I wonder how much money it takes for a babe to agree to undergo a urine-shower? Since everybody’s yapping about the most recent update on pissmops featuring Bianca pissheart I think the “pure†should be removed from her name now. She not only gets the golden stream from two pubic spigots, but she also allows her head to be used as a toilet brush. It leads me to another question, what is going through her mind? Maybe it's like, “Show me the money, it’s only pee†or “ Warm yellow rain turns me on, baby!" I know it could be both and she may dig it, but is having your face plunged into a toilet a thrill? Doubtful unless she's into humiliation, so I can only surmise the only logical explanation: "so what? show me the money!" I really gotta stop overthinking this stuff...
(Malice: Fixed a problem with the image)
Edited by TonyMalice (09/24/04 07:09 AM)
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45971 - 09/24/04 08:03 AM
tips for pissmops
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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I wonder if this works for urine...  SAN FRANCISCO (Wireless Flash) -- Oral sex is not for every taste, but a berry-flavored smoothie can help improve the taste of oral sex. That's according to San Francisco-based "sexpert" Sadie Allison, author of a new book, "Tickle His Pickle" (TickleKitty). She recommends men chug down a smoothie made with orange juice, strawberries, bananas, blueberries and peaches at least eight hours before oral pleasure to sweeten the taste of male bodily fluid, making it less objectionable to their partner. Some foods can sour the taste of semen, so Allison suggests men avoid garlic, cauliflower, broccoli and asparagus before sex. Not all of her penis pointers are aimed at men. Allison says women should avoid excessive yanking, coarse hands and comparing their partner's privates to previous lovers. Also, she says dry mouth can be a serious setback to good oral sex so it's crucial to keep sour cherry candies nearby just in case.
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#45972 - 09/30/04 05:32 PM
Ass Altar Of August
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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Whew, my mind is inverted like a cross by Kahn’s misogynist satantics. No really, he really loves women there, smutmutant, it’s you who worship whores that are going to Hades. Huh? Who said that? Told you I was losing it. However, Max may call himself the “dark lord of porn,†but it’s as clear as crystal meth that Kahn’ wrath makes Max look like one of his own Hardcore schoolgirls. Ouch that hurts! 
Ok, time for a breather, so I checked out August’s scene in BJ Quickies. I may be clearly stating the obvious, but I just gotta say it: AUGUST HAS THE BEST ASS IN PORN EVER at least for now, tomorrow I might say: KATJA KASSIN HAS THE BEST ASS IN PORN EVER. I know, I know, Nina Hartley’s magnifico-glut is still pedestal worthy; and ask Stagliano if he remembers Sasha Strange’s rear shrine, but what a sec... Stag’s head and body have been poisoned by guy butts, so who cares what he thinks... In my perverted dicktatorship the only thing that really counts is what I think about cooze, so I decree that August and her ass are great, as is her mouth especially when it’s a suckin’ a couple of stiff popshotsicles, butt just gimmie a bite o'  dat butt and I'd die  a happy horndog. 
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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