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10 Things You Should Never Say to a Porn Star
Stormy Daniels:
10. You're too pretty to do porn. (So, you're saying you would prefer to watch ugly people f*ck?)
9. Your vagina must be really worn out. (Mine isn't nearly as bad as your mother's after pushing such a giant idiot like you out of it.)
8. I would never watch porn. I think it is degrading to women. (Then how did you know my name? And my measurements? And my astrological sign? And my birthdate?)
7. How do I get my girlfriend/wife to do ________? (Ask her, not me. By the way, talking to me in the first place is not helping your cause.)
6. Wow! You're so much prettier/younger/thinner in your photos. (Obviously your mother didn't teach you anything and it is called Photoshop.)
5. I pleasured myself to you 10 times this week! (OK, I didn't need to know precisely how pathetic you are. And stop trying to shake my hand. I now unfortunately know exactly where it has been.)
4. I could do porn. (No, you couldn't. If you could, you already would be ... and no, I will NOT audition you!)
3. Are those yours? (Well, I paid for them.)
2. Do you think you are going to hell? (Discussing religion with a porn star will get you as far as discussing porn with your grandmother ... just don't try it.)
1. I wanna take you out on a "real" date. ( I did not realize all my other ones were imaginary.)
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