I don't like giving out candy because I'm diabetic and I don't want the leftover shit around the house. And I don't like giving out money because I used to hate when people did that. Plus, how much do you give these days? I used to get a quarter when I was a kid, but you can't do shit with a quarter these days. And if I start giving out dollars to little girls just for dressing up, they might grow up to be strippers. I don't want to ruin anyone's life. Psychopaths ruined the idea of giving out apples. We always threw out our apples because people thought they might have razor blades in them.

Also, how fucking sad is it to see people all dressed up in Halloween costumes, waiting at the bus-stop? Like you put all the money & effort into the costume, then you can't even talk someone into giving you a ride or spend the money on a cab?