Oh man my father is nothing but a big bag of cracks n jokes. He'd sit on me and put all his dead body weight and fart, he'd fart in my face when im sleeping, he'd fart at the dinner table while coughing up pieces of corn out of his nostils, he'd sit on the toilet and scream at the top of his lungs "when the log rolls over we will die etc" he once farted in a jar and had his brother ignite it, he even used to pick me up by both ankles in one hand and tickle my stomach with his other hand. He'd also pin me down and lick from the top to the bottom of my face and even rub his scruffy on his face on mine (ouch) he'd cough up loogy's and chase after me LOL oh man those were the days.
One time at dinner he was eating a pitted green olive, he took the pit and pit it at the end of his fork and slammed on the opposite end. As I was lifting my spoon to eat the pit landed in my spoon from mid air. Oh man it was classic. Of course my step mother was in the middle of drinking 7up and all of that flew out of her mouth and nose. LOL she was in some severe pain from all the carbonation. hahahahahhaha
He used to call me booger-butt being thatim an offspring from the largest booger that he is.
ahhhhhhhhh the torture!
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