I….I don’t know how to put this so I’m just going to come out and say it. I’m a time traveler. It’s not just because I saw The Time Traveler’s Wife today. It’s more that Eric Bana and I share so much in common. The similarities really are amazing: both of us are devilishly good-looking, yet modest; both of us spend much of our time unshaven and conspicuously not working; both of us are madly in love with Rachel McAdams; and both of us (spoiler alert!) have been shot by father-in-laws (although his was admittedly an accident). I suppose the one significant area of difference is that he thinks it’s appropriate to hide naked in bushes and speak to 10-year-old girls. I draw the line at that, Mr. Bana. As a pornographer and a sleazebag, I bite my thumb at you, sir. You are a sick pervert. Didn’t you earn enough from Munich to buy a trenchcoat at least? Tsk, tsk.

In the movie, Bana’s time travel is brought on by bouts of drinking. Mine, too! He wakes up in places without any clothes on. Me, too! Last night, for example, I shotgunned 8 Jaeger bombs and woke up in bed next to Digital Playground’s contract star Jesse Jane……at least that’s who I thought it was. I was hammered.

Anyways, I now consider this movie to be an unauthorized biography and will be filing suit against New Line Cinema and producer Brad Pitt. I will consider not filing if I am promised the lead in the sequel and an explicit love scene with Jesse Jane is written in….with lots of face-sitting….lots.

Brandon you should stick to reviewing things like step ladders, foot stools and shoe lifts, at least then I might trust your opinion.

BI, sounds as if you need to work yet another fixation out of your system. You can do this by finding a look-alike to Rachel Adams, fucking her up six ways to Sunday, while preserving it all on video for us. Two birds, one stone. Get to work Major Mapleleaf.

I will do my best....
Cool gif!