I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest that Alex go Greek instead of Italian. Italian is so played out, dude.

Ivor's menu suggestion, although it sounds great, is simply too complex for someone like Panzer who's used to eating shit out of a can. Start simple, brother.

You can easily make a great Greek meal with a handful of ingredients, Alex. If you can lay hands on lemons, olive oil, garlic (fresh garlic, please!), oregano, salt and pepper, you'll make something that will knock your lady's socks (and hopefully her drawers) off. Unless she's Greek herself she probably wouldn't have eaten like this every day, which is an added plus. Chicks dig the "out of the ordinary".

Search for recipes on-line for "greek roasted chicken" and "greek potatoes". You'll find that you can roast a chicken and the potatoes all in the same pan. Since you don't know how to cook, it seems sensible to avoid complex preparation. Roasting a chicken and some vegetables just requires that you leave something in the oven for an hour or so.

A roasting chicken will fill your apartment with a wonderful aroma. Make sure you've opened the windows earlier in the day to refresh the air and get out all the unwonderful aromas which I'm sure have accumulated in your fetid room.

Now, this is a really simple, meat-and-potatoes main course. You may or may not want to spruce things up with bread and a salad. Greek salads usually combine red onions, tomatoes, cucumbers, olives and tangy feta cheese with whatever greens you want. I suspect you don't want any greens. If so, I would suggest not making a salad at all. Chicks don't care that the presentation isn't like a restaurant, Alex. They just want to eat something you've made with your own two hands.