It's been a long time since I've posted these (2008 FLOP Posting) and I need to reference 'em so:

#1: whores lie
#2: male performers have NO stroke value
#3: way too much man-ass in hetero porn (please minimize the use of the dreaded "ball-cam" angle. Any amount of time that 70% of the screen is occupied by the dude's ass and nut sack is too much)
#4: double-pen in the same orifice is gay
#5: Generally, European porn stars are much dirtier than their American counterparts
#6: when a dude is getting it up the ass, no matter if it's from a woman, tranny or another dude, it's gay
#7: if you have a small dick and fuck like a chick with a strap on you shouldn't be a stunt cock
#8: interracial gangbangs demonstrate how far we’ve come as a country regarding race
#9: if she doesn’t do anal, and she’s not Christy Canyon, she’s not a legitimate porn star
#10: piss, vomit and/or scat ain't sex(y)
#11: too many tattoos and piercings and it becomes an unpleasant freak show
#12: if you must show cunnilingus, make sure the guy doesn’t have a moustache (see Ron Jeremey and Christy Canyon; looks like the Tribbles Star Trek episode)
#13: the male talent shall keep grunting and moaning to a minimum
#14: don't jump to the guy's face during the money shot
#15: there shall be no unattended pussy in a FFM threesome scene at any time
#16: close up shots have their place, but it's not two thirds of the movie; pull back, establish and let us get on with the important business of jerking off to the whole girl, not just the meat piston
#17: genuine sounds of balls slapping against girl's ass or cock slamming into wet cunt shall not be interrupted by talents' over dramatic moaning or porn banter
#18: The bts interviewer shall not ask how the girl got into porn if she's been doing porn longer than 6 months
#19: if it's a comp, let the box cover say it's a comp; don't dress it up as all new scenes
#20: if the movie is shot in HD, cast must have good complexions (and definitely, no ass zits)
#21: if it's on the box, it shall be in the movie
#22: if an act is described as “her first time”, it shall not be common knowledge that it is far from her first time
#23: unless your name is Andrew Blake, let us hear the actual noises instead of the music, no matter how much you paid your cousin to create it with Pro Tools
#24: squirt is pee (see #10)
#25: every whore has a price
#26: the more cum that lands above her mouth, and the more surprised/upset she is about it, the better; if she actually starts to whimper, it's rewind time
#27: in porn, for every one great boob job, there are 76 shit ones around the corner
#28: someone else’s baby jam on/in a girl is off limits; stick your dick elsewhere or towel her off/make her swallow
#29: nine out of ten whores say they are in porn for the "great sex" and "close friendships," when in reality they are motivated in the following order of importance: 60% money/Donna Karan sunglasses/Gucci handbags; 20% getting back at their fucking asshole parents; 10% support/augment drug dependency’; 10% support suitcase pimp's drug dependency
#30: when a whore says they "don't do drugs any more," it means they still smoke unbelievable amounts of pot, and drink like fishes
#31: not all attention-whores are porn girls, but all porn girls are attention-whores
#32: if you have a catch-phrase, you're a douche
#33: girls turn 18 every day
#34: retired whore makes a comeback = rent is due
#35: whores never learn
#36: whores are never retired, they are just between sex-related “career opportunities”
#37: directors shall keep babbling to a minimum
#38: limit stills; flash bulbs going off is distracting
#39: big-budget porn (e.g. “Conquest”, “Private Gladiator”) is a waste of perfectly good money that could be better spent on costlier sex acts; i.e., would you rather see a wooden ship or an anal gangbang?
#40: slow-motion and replay shall be kept to the barest minimum
#41: if the male talent is taking a long time to cum, edit it out; no one wants to see 60+ seconds of a guy desperately stroking himself off (and moaning) while the female talent mentally composes her shopping list (see #29)
#42: eventually, to maintain interest, female talent will have to do anal (e.g. Eva Angelina)
#43: whores can't do porn forever; sometimes you have to grow up and move on
#44: when a whore holds off anal for too long, no one cares
#45: if you are shot out and get breast implants, you are still shot out
#46: never talk about your kids on your porn site; a real wood killer
#47: how about a girl who sucks beyond the goddamn helmet; half these bitches don't belong in the industry, because they can't give proper head
#48: during anal sex, the phrase “fuck the shit out of me” (or variations thereon) shouldn’t be uttered
#49: the more ridiculously out of place a whore looks in how she's dressed (e.g. hot pants, clear heels, etc.), the better
#50: asses are much improved by being bigger (within reason) and wetter (without reason)...
#51: like Hydra, when one whore dies, another five spring up in her place
#52: alt.porn has engendered more verbiage than woodage
#53: male talent should not be featured prominently on the box cover
#54: porners live in a different time zone which averages 45 minutes later than reality
#55: just when you think the bottom of the barrel has been scraped clean, Brandon Irons posts a new horror to "Website Talk"

OR you could have just bumped the original thread.

Could've, but I'm big on fresh starts. Also had the modicum of decency to include the URL to the last post....

I'm big on fresh tarts.

#56 Former porno girls who turn "photographers" are either hooking on the side or letting a sugar daddies do unspeakable things to their poor but delicious bodies?

I'd like to add one:

In a scene with anal, a split screen should be used during initial penetration of the chick's mud flume.

I saw this on BrokeAmateurs.com and it was great.

#3: way too much man-ass in hetero porn (please minimize the use of the dreaded "ball-cam" angle. Any amount of time that 70% of the screen is occupied by the dude's ass and nut sack is too much)

its always sunny touched on this subject.

Ha, I just laughed for like a minute, almost.

#57 No samurai swords allowed on the set before, after or during production.

58 No gay man shall be allowed to direct or operate a camera on a straight movie.

Exactly !

This needs to be stickied somewhere as often as FLOP is referenced here.

Plastic surgery fundamentally altering one's perfectly-acceptable (even pretty) face, and breast implants, are lies too.

That photo was taken around 2007. My nose job was done in 1996. Good try.

I found the old Gia highly attractive. Forgive me.

Why do you always try to look depressed in your photos?

Stupid whore thinks it's an artist and edgy? She's meat with a few holes in it.

• No limp dicks. Hire a fluffer or edit that shit out
  
• No visible legions on genitalia
  
• Niggers talk too much in I/R gangbangs
  
• Stop holding the whore's ass cheeks. I want to see them jiggle
• Porn isn't about sex, it's about misogyny
  
• Why are they wearing sneakers?

Can guys also stop getting tattoos? I like my meat puppets as innocuous as possible.

What, you don't like gang bangs? Or is it your fetish for the mopes to be invisible?

This person also likes his porn actresses to have a good fitness regime.

French Foreign or just the American kind?

Aww...look , it thinks its people.

Legion : lesion as regime : regiment. Clearly, you weren't understanding the word misuse.

+1

I'm tired of seeing those roll of bullets along some mope's leg.

I think that was Jack Venice. He's doing life for rape right now, so you're probably OK on that one.

I'm running out of space so I'll be stopping soon haha.

hmm this ages the post way before to 2005

#59 If a chick has a tattoo around her asshole, she MUST take it up the butt at some point in EVERY scene that she appears in. No exceptions to the rule, even if the website or DVD is blowjob themed, cunnilingus oriented, dedicated to solo masturbation, etc.

^^ Good rule.

Who was the PW that had the "One ring to rule them all" from Lord of the Rings tattooed around her asshole about a decade ago. I'm 99% certain there's a pic of it still in the cage, but I'm not spending all day looking for it. With a name, I'll give it a shot.

No clue. I only remember Adrena Lynn w/ "jarrod's fuck doll tattooed around the pucker.

Yep, that was it. I was misremembering someone's P-Shop parody of it. Anyway, that was enough to find it.