There is a persistent rumour going around that troubled Oscar-winning director of The Pianist, Roman Polanski, has accepted a position as talent co-ordinator for She Is Half My Age. This is untrue.

Talks broke down amidst my concerns over his ability to properly verify IDs. Each time I emphasized that models needed to be 18, he would mockingly reply, “13?” I enjoy his movies a great deal but there are trust issues. Furthermore, he said he would get back to me after attending a film festival in Switzerland and I haven’t heard from him. I assume he is no longer interested.

Having said that, I can confirm rumours that I am in pre-production for The Penisist. It’s a January release through JM Productions and the cover will be up early in the new year at www.jerkoffzone.com.