I would love to pretend to care about a pornstars self esteem and true self, find out she always wanted to be an artist and sign her up for an art class. "off to my art class, look out picasso!!! " she'd twitter but when she shows up her class is 12 sketchy guys and I'm wearing a cartoonish artists outfit with an oversized hat and salvadore dali mustache. She'd appraise the situation and her face would start to quiver and I'd throw 2k at her feet and tell her to start sucking.

I don't usually laugh out loud, but I did when I read this. It could so easily be a scene in a JM Productions vid.
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"Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken."