i heard james woods is ridiculously intelligent. when i say "ridiculously", i'm not kidding. he dropped out of MIT just before graduating, to pursue acting.

notable quotes in celebration of cynicism day:

"you know how women get when they get old. that's why when you go to the pound, you get a puppy." --james woods on dating

"because that’s what truth is. pain. that’s the way we’re all going to end up, alone and bloated and washed up on a beach and no one will care." --holly randall on luke ford

"anyone can be a winner on a desert island. a true winner takes from others, and forces them to accept their status as losers relative to him or her." --james woods

"i drink flavored vodka. but really, I taste my own darkness." --gia jordan

"each day literally thousands of people do something of which they are ashamed. the work was easy, i had winters off, and nobody minded if i showed up under the influence. as long as I remembered my lines, i lived like a rock star." --james woods

"watching someone's face collapse in grief again and again and again, it just does something to the human heart. of course a lot of people claim to be animals but have no follow-through when it’s time to prove it." --loucypher

"i ended up getting a great deal on the boat. it took major cleanup though, it was the scene of a quadruple-homicide. i think a drug deal gone bad." --jamesn

"i'm so awesome i want to make slow, sweet, passionate love to the entire cast and crew every time i step onto a set." --james woods

"oh, you’re tired, is that it? yeah, you’re tired. this is you: 'oh, i’m tired.' hard work. feel sorry for me. i’m a spoiled, lazy, nothing cunt who thinks just because i'm one of the most famous names in the biz, i don't have to go out there and give it a hundred and ten per cent every single day.” --steven hirsch on briana banks

"can a hideous creature designed only for killing discover the beauty in himself through the love of a troubled soul designed only for compassion?" --bishop on marley mason

"i'm like a memory foam mattress - i learn - shaping myself to your body's specific needs." --steven koch

"there’s always a quick way to tell when i'm getting tired of you. maybe it’s gentle references to the time. maybe it’s a few fake yawns." --james woods

"you can never be too many people." --smelly monkey