To the assmunch in front of me at Submarina,

You sir are extremely fortunate that I am an one of the most laid back and even tempered people who will ever cross your path. Otherwise I would have kicked you in the ass so hard that the Topeka Fire Department would have been called in to pull your head out of the ceiling tiles. The next time you play gofer for your kids youth soccer team please wear a sign around the back of your neck reading "Unless you have absolutely nothing better to do than stand behind me for the next 45 minutes go eat some place else." Hey Franz Beckenbauer, here's a newsflash for you. There is this new invention called a FUCKING TELEPHONE. One of the uses of this new gadget is that you can call in your fucking order of a dozen sandwiches ahead of time. That way you do not have to worry about me and the other 35 people standing behind you giving you a beatdown that makes Reginald Denny look like a frat hazing. Try it the next fucking time you goddamn idiot.

Sincerely,
the unknown pervert

P.S.

By the way, turning around and telling me "I've only got three more sandwiches to order" after I have stood there for 15 minutes and watch you order eight sandwiches already does not make me feel better. Let's get one thing clear right here, right now. The ONLY reason you were not kicked in the balls as hard as humanly possible is because I did not have the foresight to wear football cleats.

You have me so pissed off I can't even spell reason correctly.