I am one of the worst posters here, EVER. No one has squandered their gift of literary genius more egregiously than I....I can and have wasted my written talents and form of expression here, in this god forsaken cesspool ofsexual perversion and social backwardness...the moral bankruptcy and torpitude that we all PRIDE ourselves on manifesting in our lives makes it inexcusable that I would choose to abide what transpires here, much less associate with its members. This makes me the worst.


Still, were it no for my efforts and presence over the years here at XPT, I woulnd NEVER have met Holly Randall, or Crhsitie Lee, or Gian Jerkins, or Moxxie Maddron, or all the other sploogeable whores that have come to know me and communicate with me and sit on my lap and many other things...I'd never have known Willie D, Soopergrizz, Floof, Jb, jiggaloo/vin, Jamesn, my fellow Confederate POW Bornyo, and the counteless other posters on here that have become pseudo-friends and otherwise interjected themselves into my conscious thoughts. Jeff Steward, Tony Malice, et al....I suppose I owe them soemthing, but I am not sure what....

Most of all, I would never have come to know and love/hate the greatest malcontent of them all, one Smelly Monkey.....he has enriched my life in ways I would not have thought possible.

All this while being one of the worst posters in XPT's history.


I think we can kill this thread now.....

Eric - Bornyo and I need to introduce you to talking in tongues and handling snakes. You won't believe how much better you'll feel.

Boom-shaka-lakka and all'a dat shee-it.

Sorry that's not even close. I'm on a quest to find a youtube vid of speaking in tongues now !

Changed my mind. After watching a few decided you'all can't handle it !

Fuck, and here I was looking forward to lessons on "How to shrink heads".

Check some out and especially snake handling. Me and some friends got smoked up when I was about 18 and went to one of these churches one night for a hoot. I still have nightmares. Freaked me plumb out !

I remember having a conversation with the little pentecostal cutie along the lines of Tom Hanks in the movie "Volunteers"...

click here for a pretty accurate representation of how the scene went down.

For those with short attention spans, fast forward to about 4:30 (to about 7:00). Otherwise pretty much the whole scene has its similarities (substitute "Mississippi for "Bangkok" of course).

all of these favorite and worst poster lists are poison. they've become that polluted beach where no one can swim. these lists do not unite, but divide. have Karl Marx and L Ron Hubbard taught us nothing? consider many posters aren't that stable to begin with - some of them mistaking this place for the therapist's office - and the bright idea to divide themselves down the middle with a five inch utility knife becomes serious reality if god forbid they end up on the wrong kind of list.

nobody needs that kind of liability, and i don't need/want any more scary PM's like this headed inbound:

From: xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I hurt myself today. That’s right. Sometimes the world gets so bleak all I can do is ball up in a dark room and listen to Barry Manillow records, except i play them at really slow speeds and it sounds like Type O Negative. It’s a dark place I inhabit.

Arabic women undulate.

[obligatory racist joke] and unfortunately they also ovulate !

It's "ululate". Of course they ovulate too. Maybe some of them undulate.