8/19/09 Mood
After a fierce masturbation session this morning(at one point I am certain that I saw smoke) I came to realize that I love myself better than anyone else ever can and that there is no one I who I want to be with more than me. There is no better friend to me, than me, and no one knows me better than me, so I snuck out at lunch and married myself in a quiet civil service. I wrote my own vows and pledged to put myself before all others and to love myself till death does part myself. I will be careful not to cheat on myself so that I don't get caught and then have to shoot myself and then shoot myself. At this point myself and I are very happy and will be honeymooning in the bathroom at home after work. Those wishing to send gifts will find me registered at Mercedes-Benz of Orlando