^That paper must be from 2004. It was a car door, and it got fixed.
I found these horoscopes in Family Fun magazine
IIRC, LouCypher and I are the only XPT posters with a subscription.
Enjoy! <3
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Capricorn
You'll accept at a new job, or a get raise if already employed. Sometimes an eclipse forces you to give up some sort of income for another, and this might happen here. You will get a find
a better source, in short. Money will come up, you'll know how to handle it. The coming weeks will be filled. You have Venus on your side. Ruler of true love. You will only be alone, if you want to be. A breezy, non- sleazy atmosphere will make it easier to meet new people. Mark, Your.Calendar. Cupid is
still hiding in the bushes.
Aquarius
You have been so busy
growing, lately. You are hanging on to an outdated self-image and giving others "too much". You've got romance on your mind, but beware it could affect your strength. Your ruler is Uranus. Do the same to Uranus this Friday. There will be nerve-wracking days, when health worries will interfere with your concentration and everything else too. At work, you'll begin to get very busy once Cancer enters on August 25th. Be prepared.
Pisces
In the last few months you may have fallen in love or were focused on a certain object/friend. Things were hard angle to Uranus. The shit will hit the fan somewhere in the first half of the month, when a secret that someone is keeping from you will be revealed. On the 18th-20th avoid any altercations and all things electrical, this due to a series of Capricorn-Cancer sparkles in Uranus.
Aries
Give yourself a bit of a rest, Cancer makes an appearance on the 11th, this might burn a hole in the sky, but you will make it through this time. Something will be crystalizing around the 13th, this will set your heart aflutter. This is not a good time to sign a contract. The virtual community to which you belong, is not the new moon. Which
is your friend, still you will not be in control, exciting! ?
Taurus
You'll be feeling vulnerable, stuck, bored, and confused about the choices you've recently made. Your past professional efforts come together beautifully in a box with a big red bow. Your best career day will be coming up, you will wow clients in a BIG way! Your spending will be high all month. You may get some enviable publicity, too. Avoid difficult subjects, such as family love, loneliness, politics, and religion. Be gentle when you speak.
Gem.in.i
This is a messy month for Gemini. Mercury opposes Uranus. ALthough this causes problems and you often say the wrong thing all the time, it's still great publicity. Go on a long trip and have lots of fun. Study religion and make a bigger contributions to those around you. You WILL cave in, but do not fight back.
Cancer (Teh official kind.)
"Money, money, money. Blah, blah, blah, lies. . . SEX!..." Sex will
come in handy this month,
ahghhen. You think you're lit to new ideas, but you still can't get your mind off of money. Cancerians often appear to be surrounded by struggle, but in reality it's just their over dramatic nature at it's best. Enter an internet contest when the eclipse enters Aquarius. @ 170*. You know where and how. Don't forget to cut it out, when you can no longer feel the anger. The new moon is indecisive.
Leo
Ups and down, will make you loose your mind, but your overall your physical health will remain
solid. Uranus, ruler of Aquarius is not on your side. You will be alone, if not alone now, your spouse/partner will leave. Make time to clear your head. Only then will you be able to start a new romantic or business relationship. Uranus is due this December.
Virgo
This month you will be very unproductive and make even more terrible decisions. You will be ignored and have no control over yourself and the things you say. Sit in a quiet room and reflect on not having a solution to anything and the huge mess this month will be. Saturn will leave you around October, return, leave and might not come back. Bankruptcy will sneak up on you but so will a rabid drunk wino in a dark alley. You will lose friends, and possibly your job. When you oppose to Uranus, Uranus fights back.
Libra.
Go to a lecture or book signing this month. Spark up your ideas. In the days leading up to the new moon you will be an emotional wreck, stay home but don't close your windows. Keep in touch with friends. If you're single you will meet someone new. If you're attached, but not feeling it,
then it's probably not there. Go on a romantic vacation, there is lots of sex if you head that <--- direction.
Scorpio.
You demand too much of everything from everyone. You feel the world owes YOU. This is what helps one door close and another slamshut. Do not accept gifts from those who demand little. Only accept a new job offer and sign a contract if it is real. Should you decide to pay attention to your friends and family,it might be too late. Your relationships in general will not work out this month. You will waste this time, alone, wondering when the money and gifts are going to come. Nothing.
Sagittarius.
You're ahead of the rest, the begining of this month. Cancer enters your house on the 2?th you will take this time off to focus on you finances and material possessions. You're confidence will come off as arrogance, and your promiscuous nature is going to come back to haunt you, mid month. By then everyone will be sick of your shit. They will wish gay cancer on you and hope you end up penniless. Follow your heart and listen to your soul.