Quote:

---

This is what a German medieval tome 'Malleus Maleficarum' has to say about your problem Marley:

Quote:

---

With regard to the bewitchment of human beings by means of Incubus and Succubus devils, it is to be noted that this can happen in three ways. First, when women voluntarily prostitute themselves to Incubus devils. Secondly, when men have connexion with Succubus devils; yet it does not appear that men thus devilishly fornicate with the same full degree of culpability; for men, being by nature intellectually stronger than women, are more apt to
abhor such practises.

---

Quote:

---

He also maintains a woman who was often molested by an Incubus in her own bed, and asked a devout friend of hers to come and sleep with her. She did so, and was troubled all night with the utmost uneasiness and disquiet, and then the first woman was left in peace. William of Paris notes also that Incubus seem chiefly to molest women and girls with beautiful hair; either because they devote themselves too much to the care and adornment of their hair, or because they are boastfully vain about it...

---

Quote:

---

But it must also be remarked that sometimes persons only think they are molested by an Incubus when they are not so actually; and this is more apt to be the case with women than with men, for they are more timid and liable to imagine extraordinary things. In this connexion William of Paris is often quoted. He says: Many phantastical
apparitions occur to person suffering fro a melancholy disease, especially to women, as is shown by their dreams and visions. And the reason for this, as physicians know, is that women's souls are by nature far more easily and lightly impressionable than men's souls. And he adds: I know that I have seen a woman who thought that a devil copulated with her from inside, and said she was physically conscious of such incredible things. At time also women think they have been made pregnant by an Incubus, and their
bellies grow to an enormous size; but when the time of parturition comes, their swelling is relieved by no more than the expulsion of a great quantity of wind. For by taking ants' eggs in drink, or the seeds of spurge or of the black pine, an incredible amount of wind and
flatulence is generated in the human stomach. And it is very easy for the devil to cause these and even greater disorders in the stomach. This has been set down in order that too easy credence should not be given to women, but only to those whom experience has shown to be trustworthy, and to those who, by sleeping in their beds or near them, know for a fact that such things as we have spoken of are true.

---

So according to the ancient wisdom, your problem is caused by the fact that you "voluntarily prostitute" yourself or that you have beautiful hair. Another contributing factor is that you are a woman and therefore intellectually inferior to men which makes you less able to resist the "evil seed". It's also possible that you're just making it up as a result of drinking too much seeds of "the black pine", which will sooner or later result in your belly growing to "enormous size".

The easiest solution to your problem appears to be asking a "a devout friend of yours(like Croc from XPT) to come and sleep with you." According to the tome you can also try praying to Virgin Mary, becoming a nun or asking an inquisitor for advice, but these solutions apparently only work for virgins...

---

lmao, how did I miss this? Thanks croc. It could be a combination of things
I always enjoy this stuff, like when we talked about sexual capitalism, or whatever it was we talked about that one day